Its mating season in the wilds of LA and here we can see how in the presence of the young Hollywood heartthrob robert pattinson, the young LA females loose control and surrender themselves to their animal instincts by performing a strange and aggressive mating ritual.

CAPTION: "could you be more careful where you walk, you're not Bella, so I have no urge to protect your drunk asses"

CAPTION: Who can fart the loudest?
Rob: Hey girls, I think its coming
Girl in brown: I cant watch...
Girl in purple: You gotta do the squatting technique to really make it a good fart....
Girl on ground: Oh rob i love you so much can you fart in my face
Rob: um..no I think these plants deserve it more

Girl in black dress: Robert, your smile is goofy, you swagger when you walk, and your breath smells like alcohol.
Robert: What am I? SAY IT!
Girl: Drunk.
Robert: Are you turned on?
Girl: Yes.

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN

Girl in dress: Your smile is goofy, you swagger when you walk, and your breath smells like alcohol.
Robert: What Am I? SAY IT!!
Girl: Drunk
Robert: So then ask me what do I eat?
Girl: (falls to ground scared....)
Robert: TACO BELL......find your keys LETS GO!!

"Cheeseburgers..." :)

That’s what I was thinking lol "Cheeseburgers"

I thought of something dirty when you said "ask me what I eat" tehehe haha omg mind is totally in the gutter

Robert: so then ask me what to I eat?
Girl: (falls to ground scared...)
Robert: Cream Pies!... find your keys lets go!!

LOL sorry i had to sink to that level, couldnt resist! ;-)

AHAHAHA that's nasty hahahah
but yes sinking to that level is perfectly healthy :D
when I read cream pies i totally thought of putting a "funky" infront hahah i know I took it to another level XD

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

thats hilarious! weall sink to that level sometimes =]

so ask me what do i eat?
GARDEN BURGERS _____ GRAB YA KEYS LET'S GO!

lol....my mind was there too. I almost wanted to say drunk LA girls but ya....
Im glad im not the only one with the head in the gutter

the more minds in the gutter the more the merrier :D

hehe visiting the gutter can fun sometimes =]

Caption: (rob) Come ladies, the twilight Rehab building is right around the corner. I dont have time for your drunken antics, its 6 am and the sun and the school girls are about to come out

CAPTION:
whoever finds bella gets kiss! 3.. 2.. 1.. go!

Wow, what happend to class? One has no shoes on and is showing the world her ass. The other is sitting on the ground at robs feet, basically showing him whats really up her skirt. Hmmm... and he's not even looking at them....not a good sign.

CAPTION:
GIRL 1: Rob! Rob! Check out my legs!
GIRL 2: Shut up! He's a butt man, I know it. I'll show you what I'm workin' with Rob!
GIRL 3: ...Wow, you guys...
ROB: *That girl has my jacket. God I love that jacket...*

CAPTION:

ROB - Yea, you girls looks sloppy drunk enough, lets go back to my room so you can messy up my hair!

Hahahaha! Love it! And why does he get hassled for his jacket? I love it... vintage! :)

HA lol thats funny =] god could u imagine if that were true! i think we'd all go mad

thats cute

that is freaking hilarious....my abs hurt, and i am still laughing.....

P.S. I read it ten mintues ago, and the first seven i had to try and slow down the crazy laughing cuz i almost pissed myself, and the other three i fell out of my chair and was trobbing in laughing pains on the ground....

lol this one really made me laugh!

hahahaha this is brilliant!!!

caption: no girls i dont care if you get to your knees and beg, im not going to end your life for you!

lol thank you and i love yours too!!

wow this one is really good!

"ok girls this game has gone too far, i know you said you would do what ever I wanted for a chance to sleep with me but i said "act like animals" as a joke!"

Thank you!

and

HAHA i really like urs aswelll

LuckyMaddams, now that is original,lmao!!! Loved it best!!

I'd like to see that show on the discovery channel or Animal Planet!!

caption: "did you see that!?! Taylor just ran past hear and knocked that girl down! (sigh) Here, i'll help you up...this is the reason you should like Edward better then Jacob!"


looks like rob is getting alittle jealous of the attention Taylors getting, lmao!!!! joking love them both!

hehe robert pattinson and mating rituals would go perfectly together on any channel! thank you! xoxo

LOL took me a while to read the sentence past the words

ROBERT PATTINSON + MATING RITUALS

HAHAHAHA
*Hears Effing faint*

Caption: Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?

wow this one really tickled me! way better than mine, you've obvs got a way with words LuckyMaddams!

hehe i'm glad thank you!

haha I wanna watch that TV show ;-D

Me too ;-)

hmmm maybe we should suggest it to Summit??
=]

me too!

ahhh, i hate those girls, able to speak to my lovely & beautiful Rob, all flirting showing their legs to him & someone showing him how she peeps in public & the other beind dazzled by his present.. i cant stand them [jealously is a terrible thing]

jealousy is a terrible thing, so i cure it with my little sordid fantisies =] hehe

i love it :) u found my cure!!! lol. i am no longer helpless :D

So do I ;-) hehe

I love it I think it's great. ♥♥♥♥

thank you! xoxo

hehe this ones funny well done :-)

BRILLIANT!

amazing! well done! i cant enter but i hope you win, you have my vote!

thank you!

"come on girls this is just silly, im not reall edward so i cant catch you all when you fall!"

lmao!! this is the best one, some good contenders but yours is hilarious

thanks so much =] xoxo

very nice...got my laugh for the day!!! :)

Thank you! xoxo

hahaha LuckyMaddams that was hilarious! great idea, hope you win! x

Thank You!!! =]

girl in purple: hey rob you dropped your gay card

hahahah
that just made my day.

hehe this ones brill, plus anything that puts robert pattinson and mating in the same sentence is good in my book and deserves to win!

hehe i no right, and thank you!

I dont usually comment on here, i just check on updates but if felt this needed a special effort, made me laugh for ages, brilliant luckymaddams!

wow thank you!

heheheheh
tis is soo funny veryclever, well done
X

Thank you xoxo

BRILLIANT!
I cant enter, but i hope you win!

Thank you! and hmm you could if u knew someone in the US maybe xoxo

Really hope you win, you defo have the best caption, there is some strong competition but this one is the best caption! =]

Thank you! me too =]

totally amazing, so creative, god wish mine was as good, hope you win xoxo

thank you! mee tooo!

oh this one is brill! god there are some tallented people at NMM summit should use us!

they really should, i mean have you seen some of the artwork, and i bet most people would work for free, or for a chance to meet the cast, god knows i would!

Hell yeah! Imagine the money someone could make from writing movies or songs from bloggers, etc, on the net... woooo... *money making scheme comes to mind* "penny for your thoughts???" :D

Your sooo right! they could have what ever i made if i could meet RP!! lol

and kiwi_sparkle- hehe a film from bloggers would be brill! oh i can see it now =]

haha this is so cute and clever!

lol thank you ITM!

WOW this one is BRILLIANT!
well done lucky! hopeyou win! :)
xxx

thank you me too =]

THIS IS SOOO FUNNY! I laughed for ages, its really ike one of those wild life programmes!

hehe yeah like someone else said, i'd love to see that on tv =]

perfect, brilliant caption! i like this one the best :-)

Thank you! xoxo

LMAO! hilarious!
Hope you win.

thanks =]

I cant enter, but LuckyMaddams i LOVE your caption :) but i can only click 'like' once :(
hope you win!!

Good Luck :)

Hay thank you!! =] xoxo

It's great, but would be better if you fixed the spelling and grammar. (For example, IT'S and LOSE - 'loose - means something entirely different.)

rainisingh - this is a blog site, not an English class.

Maybe it was intended... "lose control" vs. "loose control"
(If you don't get it, think from my level - the gutter ;) )

HAHAHAHA

ok well, problem sorted! both work brilliantly, thanks Kiwi_sparkle!!

wow that really did make me laugh!

You're very welcome! :)
Unfortunately for some people, there's a lot more where that comes from! Hehe

ahhh damn it i just saw that, well thanks for the heads up, but the times run out to "edit" now =/
it is supposed to be "lose"
I guess i was just typing in a hurry before the words left my head =]
xoxo

(Just ignore my poor typing in my own post!)

this is brill!

I've read some more, and this is defo the best! come on people VOTE!! :)
really hope you win, you deserve it

Thank you, thats soo kind xoxo

Absolutely fabulous caption!!!! I think you're gonna win this one!! 8 D

OH i hope so, thank you!

WHEYYYY! i was the 100th like! hehe this is really good, you defo deserve to win, you must have thought about this quite alot!

OMG wow thank you!

This is my favorite! I was thinking the same exact thing when I first saw it. LOL
WTG Lucky!

Great minds think alike!! thank you!

OH MY GOD! this ones fab!

Thank you!

DAMN i can only vote once! I LOVE this one, should definately win!
xxx

thank you!

this one should win, its the funniest and its original
=]

thank you! =]

hahahahaha

fantastic!

strange and aggressive mating ritual- you got that right :)

hehe I'd take part in the strange and aggressive mating ritual...if it worked on Rob! =]

OMG dam i wish i'd thought of that, its so funny and whitty! well done, your defo gonna win!

Thank you I hope so!

ok this ones my fave,and i have read loads!! :)

wow thank you!

hehe wow this ones great and hmmmm the thought of rob and mating....

:)

thank you! and i know, rob....mating *swoons*

CAPTION: I can't sign autographs without my contacts. .
If one of you lovely ladies can find my contacts I'm sure I could find a way to reward you. . .

Driver, we're outta here!

After looking at this picture...I don't think any of these are women. All of their bodies are kind of manly, all the hair looks like wigs, and you can't see any of their faces...hmmm.......

No "butts" about you ---- we're really falling for you

someone copied and pasted this down there VVVV trying to get the credit for it since yours has the most votes, i think their name was ILuvEdward

aww thats not nice of them, well hopefully people will see mine has been here the longest, thanks for letting me know =] xoxo

I absolutely adore this take on the picture. I can so see it!

Hey guys. I just crapped out that piece of paper. See who the next Triwizard Champion is!

CAPTION:
Losing your shoes - $120
Losing your cigs - $7.00
Losing your balance -$0

Knowing you make girlies lose their cool
PRICELESS

There are some things money can't buy
for everything else there's Twihard.

CAPTION:

Rob: All I asked was if anyone had a light..damn...

hahahaha!!!

Good!! LMAO

CAPTION:
girl bending over: Hey i think i dropped my carmex
girl in brown jacket: what the hell is my ring doing in the bushes?? O and i found ur shoes
girl on floor: i like the floor better its cold
Rob: i got a car

CAPTION:
YESSS! three chicks, take that team jacob!

LOL. I like it. :)

CAPTION: These girls are intoxicated by my very presence. *roll eyes*

Brilliant!!

Dirty Whores?
Clean them up with Robert.

i love it LOL

YOURS IS MY FAV :) TOTALLY PRICELSS :) LMAO

That *was* too funny, but I'll give it a whirl:

CAPTION: Do you ladies have ANY idea what the fanpires on NMM.org are going to say about this?!?

Nice one Meg :)

Shame your so late in the game or you could have been in with a shot :) lol

Thanks! Yeah, I know... look what happens when I finally dare to venture outside and get some work done! Story of my life. ::sigh:: LoL.

I never manage to hit these right when they come up.. and when I do, I don't have anything exceptionally great to say. Damn, I should've saved this one! ::goes off to sulk:: lol

Don't worry :)

I only got first comment for the first time yesterday :) (that sounded less confusing in my head)

lol

Yeah, that was a little confusing... lol.

Now I'm off to relax my stupid-gardening-made-everything-hurt body and watch a movie (not twilight) and then finish twilight AFTER since I didn't watch all of it last night. heh.

Just think....gardening is good for you :) And balances out all that time slouched over a PC to look at this site :) lol

Yet here am.. just woke up like 15 min. ago, and I'm at it already! haha. My back hurts. ;p

Oh if your back hurts i would advise a day of rest in front of the internet :) lol

love this one.....

AMAZING CAPTION
hope u win hahahahah

Too Dam* funny... Love this one!

omg i laughed soo hard when i read this!!!!! i hope you so win girl :)

LMAO!!! awesome caption, you deserve to win :) wish i could 'like' it more than once!

Thank you! Long time reader, first time comment so I really appreciate the replies and votes!! xo

LOL. That's cute!

LMAO

brilliant. hope u win!

CAPTON:
Rob- *Shows a pic of him and bella on esme's island* Told you guys it would blow you away , didn't you know i was perfect ; )

HOW DID MY CIGARETTES GET DOWN HERE.
HMM I DON'T KNOW.
THIS FLOOR FEELS COMFTY.
ROB: LETS GO TO MY CAR IT'S BERY MORE COMFORTABLE THAN THIS ACTUALY.

Dirty Whores?
Clean them up with Robert

Oh, s#*t, girls, the lighter's right here in my pocket!

OmGosh this is soo exciting! Thanks for all of the replies :o) xo

lmao :D

This is really fits pic. Good job!

Thank you! :D
I'd love to know what really went on in that pic! His look is "priceless"
xo

Caption: Robert Pattinson may be hazardous to your health. May cause dizziness, lack of balance, and visions of falling in love with a vampire. Just say no.

Hahhaa i love it :D its great. good luck!!!
made me laugh loads!

CAPTION:
ROB: LADIES RUB URSELF UP AGAINST THINGS TO CONFUSE THE TRACKER...THEN, WE GO BACK TO MY PLACE!
LADIES: (DRUNKINGLY) OOKKKAYYY.

hahahahaha oh im laughing so hard

LMAO *likes*

this is fantastic!!

ROFL

LMAO!!!!

LOL
Good one!!

lmao! haha

hahahah genius.

Crap ive lost my sparkle, help me find it!!

Caption:
Girl on the floor: Quick, rumage through his pockets and find his sparkles!
Girl with purple shirt: I got it! I got it!
Robert: Damn, I shoulda brought Emment. [runs away]

Rob:why is she bent over like that , do you have to pee ?
girl in the brown: maybe its in there
girl in purple :ooo i found it ! i found his sparkle!
girl in black: oh my god you just dazzled me

girl bent over: i found it ! its mine
girl in brown : give me that i saw it first!
girl on the ground :its under your foot dummy ,now move its my sparkle
rob: wow dont they know that its just body glitter

Caption:

(Rob) Having fun ladies?? Well then im just gonna be right back... (to hinself) Run while you still can!

Act busy girls ! don't get ur faces recognized you don't want to be seen with me I swear..they have tazers lol

i love it :) cool caption Sophi
made me laugh loads :D

CAPTION: "Aw, crap!! Here comes Bella! Ladies, pick up your panties and run!!""

LOL!
I like it...
You don't perform well under pressure?!
LMAO
hehehehe
good one :)

Very good :)

*wink* LMAO

Nice one Effing... LMAO

Love it!

CAPTION: (announcer) INTRODUCING NEW...FAN REPELLENT! ARE YOU A FAMOUS CELEBRITY WHO HATES WHEN CRAZY FANS GET A LITTLE CLOSE FOR COMFORT? NOW WITH ONE SPRAY OF THIS NEW PRODUCT, FANS WILL GETS FAINTLY DIZZY, WILL FALL TO THE FLOOR, AND WILL RUN AWAY. NOW AVAILABLE AT LOCAL STORES!
(ROB) IT WORKS LIKE A CHARM!!

bugger, now what the bloody hell am i supposed to tell the agency about these three...oh i was just interviewing them to be stunt devils..bollocks maybe i should just sparkle my eyes, trousle my hair, and play the innocent card. yes that will work!

this one is hilarious!!! i can sooo ttly hear him saying that in his amazing accent! :)

ha ha ha lmao! i know this one is crazy funny more than likeable........loveable! <3

VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!VOTE!!!

lmao this is so the best. i can totally hear him saying it lol i really hope u win. VOTE PEOPLE VOTE!!!!!

thanks caitlin! i can just imagine him saying it i saw that pic and thought it was hilarious!! thanks for ur vote =)

Brilliant!

thanks aby, peterlover, and mayaish!! i apriciate the votes!

My bloody mad wanna-be British lingo rubbing off on you?!?! haha
VOTE CARLISLES_CATCH!!
WOOP WOOP!

you still trying to get all brit on us....you're not gonna bloody succeed you tw*t!! LOL

I missed you KOG!! :D

You're barmy! I will succeed! I'm cracking and you know it! =D So, Bob's your uncle!

haha, I dont know where you people get this stuff! haha =(

LMAO

Thats not quite how you use 'Bobs your uncle' but I will let you off...you're trying do I gotta give you some credit! ;-)

love this one! most fitting one so far! brilliant!

Caption: NO! I can not recreate the car crash scene frm Twilight with you.

this one is perfect!!!!!! ahahahhahah

CAPTION: Maybe I should have been more specific when I said I like a girl who makes me laugh.

this is a good 1...it takes a lil time 2 read through all of these....lol...good luck..

CAPTION: "Ladies, I'd really love to stay and dazzle you until you drop more belongings and continue to fall to the ground, but I have to use the little boys room"

CAPTION: "Come NEWBORNS! Lets go to my place and hide out under my blankets! Its only a matter of time before Demetri will track us down! You guys can fight over me later!"

CAPTION: "Ladies Ladies! No need for pushing eachother around! There is plenty more Vampire here for all of you! We have all the time of forever to share!"

Caption: (rob) I think I dropped my sparkle somewhere over there....
(girl in bush) Another 4 hours till the sun is out....we will never find it
(girl on ground) Look here comes the van, save me rob, save me!!

I just came back by to see how bad i was losing....lol

haha well its more than mine! :)

oh here's one!

CAPTION:
The ladies:"Paul??! Where are you?? Paul!!!"
Rob:"Ladies! No need to look for Paul in the bushes! Ughh! Don't I still dazzle any of you?"

Caption: Look... You arent Bella, and Im not going to catch you if you fall again!

CAPTION: "If anyone asks you ladies, you were with Clive Handjob tonight"

Ha ha ha I remember him saying that was his fake name at the hotel somewhere. LOL good one!

LMAO

CAPTION: This is a public service announcement. FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS STALK ROBERT PATTINSON WHILE DRUNK. Please, look at for your friends while stalking RP, his presence is intoxicating enough.

what was i thinking going with these three? they can't even find their room key let alone stand up for any length of time.

Girl on ground: Good thing I got that bikini wax, Rob might think I was smuggling werewolves.

thats so wrong.....but so funny!
x

caption:"Dang...where did we stash the vibrating Edward??"

LMAO!!!! Nice!!

...and here I thought that somebody snapped a pic of our failed attempt to depants him the other day!!! LOL ;)

LOL
No silly...If we ever had the chance to depants him we would not have given up until we succeeded! The picture would have been much more enjoyable ;)

meant 2 tell u, ur in my caption 2...

thought of you all 4 my caption...barely did it...not that great...just fyi..

Caption: The first girl to find her dignity wins!

Um...girls, I know your fans, but I just took a leak in those bushes you may want to step back. What??? No please don't scoop up the mulch and sell my urine on ebay.

CAPTION:
Rob: No no ladies your doing it all wrong the song goes, "You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out and you shake it all about!" not "You put your a** in you put your a** out and you shake it all about!"

Caption: First it was girls scratching their neck now they are falling at my feet.

What next? Shrine in my honor?

Cute, Howly. LOL
*Big Hug*
Is this photo a glimpse of TSH's bad*ss Edward??
LOL

LOL!!! I probably should be!!

But he should say "F*ck* " a lot! A LOT!!

BTW *big bone crushing hug to you too*

*sigh* you make me miss bad ass edward when you say f**k :)

off to read some more bad ass :)

alright!! I cannot take it anymore....what is this "badass Edward" everyone is talking about??

**pouting**
I hate being out of the loop....

lol

:) truely brill bit of fan fiction :)

I was out of the loop till 3 days ago....and since i was given the link i no longer sleep :) and think about cookies and s*x all day :)

Do you want the link?? You must be over 18 though LMAO

"Do I want the link?" ...do you even have to ask?! LOL

Of course I do! I have never been so grateful to be over 18 before in my life!! lol

You want my email? I think i seen where TSH said you can get banned for putting it up on this site. Let me know...

do you have facebook that be best?? or just give me your email :)

I want the link too...u guys crack me up

I just created e-mail for you to send it to. It is just my name on here without the underscores...

itsroberteffingpattinson@yahoo.com

Thanks Nic!!

LMAO :) will send you the link in a min :( just gonna cycle home from work :)

I either feel really special that you set this up for me :)
Or really insulted that you think i'll cyper stalk your real email :)

ROTF

I need to know what this is all about. Could you please send me the link and yes i am over 18! Please and thank you! mreyna_04@yahoo.com

LOL. Don't feel insulted.

**looking over shoulder and whispering** I just don't want to give my REAL address out cause the haters have been coming at me alot lately. LOL
I dont think I want any hate mail coming at me, I am far too sensitive. LOL ;)

Ok... I've succumbed to the intrigue of Bada$$ Edward and would like, no NEED the link... LOL
button_and_bug@hotmail.com
Please please please and thank you :)

i am getting in on this too..lalibare@hotmail.com

please...thanks

Oooh i want the link too, pretty pls :)
themismay@gmail.com
feel free to add

i want the link too.

forevernoriega73@aol.com

{im not 18, but im almost 17 & i think i would
be able to handle whatever badass edward has in it.

Can I please get in on this?
jenn516n@aol.com

Thank you!

i wanna get to know ..what Bad a*s Edward is....
can you pls send it to me too...

edwards always too proper..lets get to know bad a*s edward...cant wait..

send it to me... pls.. Karen.twilight@gmail.com

I want the link to bad @ss edward too!! Someone pleasesend it to me too lisielou831@aol.com

i want badass edward too!!!

can i have that link too?? I over 18.. and im just kinda wondering now.. my email is puglove2519@yahoo.com

i want the link too!!

dcs.gurl37@gmail.com

im intrigued!! and 19.

LMAO

You thought you had a trash mouth before...just wait til you read this!

TSH emailed it to me Thursday and I got about 4 hrs sleep since then...
I'll never look at cookies the same way.
You'll see ;)

I was up until 5am reading Bad Ass Edward...I read 26 chapters and still not done...it's freak'n addictive!!

It's too good :)

But is's really messing with my appetite and my sleep patterns LOL

Can't think much past cookies right now LOL

It is very addictive isn't it?...I don't care to sleep anymore and I always needed lots of sleep.

It's "like a drug to me"

LMAO

What is BaD a** Edward?

LOL, I shall be careful then. Thanks for heads up. lol

I have sent it to you :)

You have my email address now - so no hating :) LMAO

WTH!! I want it too!!! Send me the link..tolb@sbcglobal.net

Someone send it to me, please :)
abbie.suthers@hotmail.com
thankssss
xx

Can you send me BadA$$Edward plz! i am eighteen... my e-mail is cassiebabe36@live.com

Be very careful Effing, the story has bad side effects.......and does interfere with daily activities....LOL.....Buy extra panties first....

LMAO :)

Well i could say many things but............

*maintains dignified silence to avoid being banned*

LOL

"dignified silence"?! Thats a first for you isn't it? ...

*stomps foot*

It has been know to happen from time to time!! lol

These little episodes are brief though, thank god ;)

LMAO

LMAO

And probably best not to read it in bed...

On second thought maybe that is a GOOD idea ;)

LMAO...tried it, got another "why and I married to you look"...if I disappear from this site for more than 2 days please come spring me from looney bin significant is considering....LOL

**sigh of relief** THERE YOU ARE!!

Geeze! Sparkly, Spunk Ransom, lovethemcullenboys and myself had to frolick in the field without you last night. You missed the Pattinson love-fest. A good time was had by all. Not to mention that I gave out some glittery stickers. LMAO ;)

LMAO

Putting glittery sticker in my stickerbook as we speak

Damn it to hell!! Missed the fun again.....I would love to say I was the blond twinkie all over Rob in Cannes so I couldn't post but alas I was tending to family...*grumble, grumble*

LOL

Don't worry... we will all come looking for you. My husband thinks I'm insane as well.

I think that f***ing goes for all of us...we should just get all our husbands and kids together so they will leave us the f*** alone!

See what bada$$ Edward is doing to me??

At 4:30 my husband rolled over and said WTH are you reading....I said shut the F up I'm reading about F'ing cookies!!!
Bad Edward has that effect on me!! gah!!!

could someone send me the link too. danibanany_77@yahoo.com
i cant wait to start reading all of this.

LOL :)

whatever he's doing to you i think he's doing too me :) LMAO

Yes we should! My husband too is wondering WTF is wrong with me! I would like to scream at him, YOU, you are no Edward! I want to be adored, worshiped, romanced,............ I could go on.
LOL
I'm glad I'm not the only one.

please send me the link to bada$$ edward my email address is gretta.burnette@gmail.com

forgot to give my e-mail
hotpink_uhs@live.com
thanks!

Here it is...hope you enjoy it. The beginning is a little slow but it gets better if you can hang in there. Once you open chapter one, you can click on the next chapter at the bottom.

Don't stay up too late readsing it...a bunch of us were very sleep deprived for a few days!

hey sparkly you're not supposed to put the link up onto twiporn here!!! There are teens here! Stop corrupting the innocent minds...if someone asks for it then email it to them....the mods were deleting all reference to it yesterday...you'll get busted!!! Be careful :D

I don't understand what this bad ass Edward thing is all about, but I think I want to read it, can someone send it to me please? Thank you!

jlouie27@gmail.com

p.s. I'm well over 18.

I have read it all & can't wait for the next chapters...... and you were right about extra panties! ;-)
XOXOXOX Heather

Can i ask for the link too?

I'm looking for new fanfic.

Over 18

sory if the english is bad, i'm portuguese.

fanfilili@gmail.com

can i please get it too!!! im over 18!!
dannie08@live.com

Hi you got me curious, could you e-mail me that link?

forgot to give you my e-mail... it's: stephy_in_paris@hotmail.com

and yes I am over 18...

Can you give me the link too? Dying to know what this is about.

can you give me the link... mclowman@gmail.com
WOW, thanks for sending it to me and my husband thanks you as well. I have already read the entire thing and rereading ummm certain chapters lmao

I'm curious now can i have the link my email is borley_j@yahoo.com

OK i want the link too!!

sherimatthews34@yahoo.co.uk

please send it me!

How old are you???

ooh ooh link for a bad a** Edward!! please send it to me too!! koolchick2233@yahoo.com

"Please" can I have the bad a** link too! "please" I really need to think about cookies and s*x all day. "Please"........
thehulls@mtaonline.net
I'm over 18, way over 18.

Hey I am 21, can I get the link to this site? Or book? Or Article?

Stacysonlychild@aol.com

I feel left out, I want some cookies and s*x. I'm waaay over 18. slburks@gmail.com

ok :) x

i want the link too! please send it to me. im over 18
coleman_cactus@yahoo.com

Lmao this is late

But i would LOVE the link! :)

azianbangbang@yahoo.com

lmao thanks! :)

LMAO
Yeah...makes me want cookies too ;)

ME WANT COOOKIES :) LMAO

I want in on Bad A$$ Edward too! And all this talk about cookies..... now you all have me craving them. Please, please, please e-mail me the link? almam1231@aol.com. Thanks a mil! :)

Okay, you have my attention..please, please, please send me the link for bada$$ Edward too!!!! redravendew@yahoo.com

Can someone please send my the link... I have to read it now... ourlove4ever00@yahoo.com
Thanks Alma

:o... i need to read this !!

i am exactly 18 ;]

someone/anyone send it to me please !!

fanpiree@yahoo.com

please please send me the link!!!! maybeme.karl@gmail.com
thanks :))

Can someone send me a link please?
I'm over 18, and it sounds good!
xx.only.love.xx@gmail.com

ermm im confused..
someone send me this stuff!
burnetteBabe_15@yahoo.com

yes i know its misspelled its an inside joke
lol, people give me crap about that all the time


hahaha
i want to read whatever everyone is reading!

mmmm love those cookies :)

ok are you kidding me??? What am I missing out on, someone hook me up! I want to read bad @ss Eddy. Is there a bad @ss Jake out there too? I'm over 18 vera.sweets@yahoo.com

Ooh, that IS bad, Howl!! But considering the picture, I'd say Edward's been hiding a lot.

Big hug back!!

Can't wait to get on more permanently!

Just got back from Red Rocks. Someone was playing guitar and it echoed so beautifully off the rocks it almost made me cry. It was awesome!!!

Behave, girl! No hanging out with b*ass Edward- he's a very bad influence!
LOL

(Then again, with your wolf activities, you may be a bad influence on him)

LOL

RED ROCKS!!!!! Holy crap 4thewolf, you're in CO.? lol
I love going there to the night time concerts!!

OOh, Hey TWP!!

NO, I don't live in CO, although it's very very very beautiful!!! I love it!! My big bro is getting married here b/c his fiance' is from this area. Also I've visited Greeley with an old roommate (always smells like rain- a good thing, not an insult)



Going back to hike Red Rocks tomorrow again. Although, seriously, my nephew almost fell to his death poking his head out the little holes in the back gate of the welcome center?

Who makes funky little holes every few feet at a child's eye level, where if they crawl through it easily, will drop hundreds of feet below. We grabbed his ankle, but GEEZ!



Denver has the best tap-water EVER.



Don't you hate it when you travel to a different state and you have to get used to the water? (EEk!! At least city water always tastes consistently somewhat refreshing and bleachy, but Denver water- no taste at all- just wateringly refreshing!)

LOL



Sorry, um... this has nothing to do with the above conversation. So..how 'bout them drunk girls?



LOL

I'm so sorry, TRP, I just put a W in the middle, and I know it's you, not Team Wolf Pack

I just danced to bluegrass for 4 hours, can yoo forgive me and believe that I still think you're important??

I"ll edit later, if I can get on.

LOL

aww, lol, no prob, your breakdown of your time in Co. read like a review in a brochure, and I'm happy you are enjoying it here, you keep dancing away and drinking that water, it's happy water!!! We miss ya, and watch out tornado warning in Denver today,yikes! Stay safe, be careful, you & your fam :D

....drunk girls where..oh yeah, nothing new there everytime a pic comes out with rob and a girl they always look 3 sheets to the wind.

Thanks, TRP.

I missed the tornado but went to Loveland Continental Divide and got snowed on and blown off the little path.

So, although I'm now missing half my toes due to frost bite, I can say I didn't wimp out.

Where was Jake when you needed him? I could have SERIOUSLY used a space heater.

LOL

oops yeah did no one warn you we can get all 4 seasons in one day here. Dang 4TW, you're having quite the adventure!

oops again *blushes&hides behind Jake*, go ahead Jake go and warm up 4TW. Checked it last night 4TW and the space heater is working perfectly :D *slaps the space heater on the..err.. as it runs off to mile high area*

LOL!

I am, TRP, because I'm all about adventure. LOL

Oooh, THAT's where the space heater went.

Thank you for the timely return.

LOL

Yes!!! Bad*ss Eddy can learn some tricks from us Wolf girls!!!

Come back soon! :-)

can you please send me the link?????? Hazel0711@yahoo.com THANK YOU!!!!!!

oh please, would you send it to me too? Thanks a lot !
memcv75@laposte.net

CAPTION:
Bella: (talking to Edward/Rob) " I leave you alone for two minutes and the drunk stalkers descend.'

Rob " Dammit, I asked for a blonde, a brunette and a redhead!
Last time I give my groupie order list to that bl**dy scriptwriter...she changes everything!"

CAPTION: "Wow, that probably would have been hot.....You know, if I was into chicks."

Wow, that was wrong on so many levels - - but FUNNY!! LOL Nice!

Rob, If that's you please forgive us for the site pantzing this week....It was all in good fun....oh and by the way I hope you used your raincoat with that blond chicklet in Cannes *shivers*....:)

Rob: Bella!? Wait up!! I'm just going to have a midnight snack and I'll catch up
with you!

Caption- "Sometimes I'm not the most dangerous thing out there, sometimes it's alcohol and four inch heels"

like

love it :) well good

good luck fab5mom

Come on ladies I know i'm irrasistable but theres no need to inform the surrounding objects...

Caption: While Twilights Rob Pattinson was on his way back to his hotel, he dropped his hotel key card out of his back pocket. The 3 ladies who were stalking behind him noticed and raced to be the 1st to grab it. The blonde obviously won. Rob appeared to be pleased with the outcome.

Dude that totaly works with the pic!!!!

Thanks!! Im glad you liked it!

CAPTION: "Just great! Got caught playing twister without the game board again!"

or Caption: Robert Pattonson appearance highly intoxicating?

CAPTION: “I CAN SAVE YOU TIME LADIES, I'M RIGHT HERE”

(because they appear to be looking for something)

Things NOT to do if you want to impress Robert Pattinson.

Good one...

thanks...I put it on here before I registered..sorry!

Caption: "All of this chicks failed the spidermonkey test...they are too imbecile that they even fetched my pack of cigarrettes damit"

Caption: ahhh crap..what happens in vegas, stays in Vegas right?

I can't enter :) but i just want to say :)

These 3 women have just shown us that you don't need class or style or dignity to spend some quality time with Rob :) You don't even need shoes :) Just carry smokes for him :)

*does little happy dance* Yeayyy

LMAO

Apparently Rob likes his women barefoot and drunk! YAY! I can do that!!
**Throwing away all my shoes**

My god i graduated in that :)

Hurray :) A man who can appreciate a real womans talents LMAO

LOL
Yeah, real women like us have many "talents" that he would surely appreciate! I would LOVE to show him all of them! ;)

Not all your talents at once sparkly :) ease him in gently :)

We don't want to scare the boy bloody rigid :) LOL

*damn it it's all gone to hell... i just used the words rigid and rob in the same sentence* lol

LMAO

**putting shirt back on**
Uh...right, nic...not all at once...I don't want to scare him away

thanks

**realizing just now the words rigid and Rob were used together...getting visual**

**THUD**

LOL

How do you think i feel :) I'm reading bad ass edward smutty stuff and i just said those 2 words togther ;) And i'm at work :)

work productivity - down 89%
Smutty thoughts - up 1045%

Sweet!! Now I really have a chance with him!!

**throwing away "How to be Classy" book and buying carton of cigarettes**

and I never had style or dignity in the first place soo..... HOORAY for me!!

Aw, thanks for making me feel better Nic!!!!
LOL ;)

Okay :) my caption would be -

*Let's throw these smokes in the bushes....and if he falls for it...we jump him from behind :)*

LOL. Love it!!!
I left one down below, but I don't think it is that good. I don't perform well under pressure. ;) LOL But, I just couldn't walk away from that cool prize!

Sucks you aren't in US! Dang...How about you post, and if you win, um, I will take care of the prize for you?? I would do that for you, what are friends for?? LOL ;)

oh i just replied mine to you since i cant enter :) damn maybe if i'd posted sooner LOL

Gonna just go look for yours lol

Hooray :)

The only thing that book would be any good for is spanking him with when things get a bit kinky :)

All those hollywood classy chicks are getting it all wrong :) LMAO

Filthy minded drunken poorly dressed chicks with smokes rule :) *pumps first in air*

Nicnix,

Remember its only kinky the first time.

There are plenty of other inanimate objects i can substitute with when that gets old :)

*fist in air* and "wooohoooo" echoes from NZ around the world...
LOL

LMAO :)

Can always count on the kiwi chicks lol :) x

Hell yeah! Due for my next smoke, still a bit pissed from last night and unlike Rob I don't lose my car, I lose it sideways ;)
LOL

Whenever i've gone out drinking with people from NZ, i always put my affairs in order first :) just in case i die from alcohol poisoning :)

Rob should take a trip down under *cough cough* if you know what i mean :)

HAHAHAHA!!! That sounds about right! We certainly have a thing for our drinking and can handle it too!

Dunno if Rob could handle the drinking... or the down under... *wink + schoolgirl giggle* LMAO!!!

Yeah lol we're the same in Scotland :)

It must be the rain :) LOL

Am pretty sure he can handle most things :) LMAO

Yeah... the rain... *innocent sheepish look* that's it! LOL

I'm sure too, after all, he is who he is and I think all females (and some males) would let him handle... um... yeah... it's not R18 here eh? LOL

*sneaks through window*
Got Ya!
LOL
Miss ya, stalker,
LOL

GAH!!!!

Oh! 4thewolf...I thought you were busy....

**hiding stalking notes of twifan89&lovethemcullenboys**

Wow, it is so great to see you! Gee, you really should have called first though!! LOL

Glad to see you made the flight okay, and didn't get arrested for assaulting people with your lip gloss!! LOL

*eyes narrow*

I've got my eye on all your evil doings, stalker...

LOL

No, I'm too quick for security to catch me. I just started screaming. "The wolves...the wolves are coming" and shot out of there like a wolf outta the woods.

People tend to back away rather quickly at things like that.

Then I ran screaming down the terminal, my hair flying in the wind, and yelling, "Jacob, PHASE!! I need backup!!"

LOL


Still keeping lip gloss handy.



See ya! (But you don't know when, do you?)

LOL

Ya know, IF - and I do say "IF" - I didn't know better, I would think that you were stalking me as well....Hmmm... Good thing I know better.

**jumping up and down like 4-year old at the possibility**

LOL

*Slips into your view*

Hmmm. maybe I AM stalking you. NMM is blocked from this computer, so can't comment, but you never know where I'm gonna be,hmmm?

Stay out of trouble.

*snort* *smirk*

Hhahahahah

That was funny.

LOL "No mum, these cigarettes aren't mine, just holding on to them for Rob"

LMAO :)

Any mother would be down there like a shot to help hold them :)

haha true! I bet swearing's ok too! :D

Oh swearing is essential :) Rob loves a chick with a pack of smokes and a filthy mouth :)

We can ALL achieve this without too much effort :) yeay

Who's with me lol

I f***ing am!!! :D

LMAO :)

You go without saying Jo :) you filthy minx LOL

yay!!! :D

LMFAO!!! You rock! Haha

And open his beers of course, must need a lady...I mean, girl to do that (clearly ladies aren't always called for).

NO ladies here :) *phew*

;) lmao

CAPTION: "HELP! I've Fallen and I can't get Pattison!!!"

CAPTION: I was sure Alice said she saw some Beer here. Keep looking, ladies...

Caption: These are 3 girls - This is robert pattinson - this is what happens to girls around robert pattinson. ....... Any Questions?

CAPTION: Forget $20,000 for a kiss. I need a light (for my cigarette) now! Whoever gets it can have me... hahaha go!

Caption: (Rob to Bella) "Bella, I know what this looks like. Just don't freak out!"

Nice Shoes: $100
Great party clothes: $120
Cigarettes: $5.46

Meeting Robert Pattison and falling on your butt: Priceless
Foe everything else there's Master card.

CAPTION: Who took the Twister mat away??

girl: if I jump from a cliff wold you save me?
rob thinking Probably not, but it woul be fun to see it.
Rob: Of course
all the girls try to jump
girls: we thought you would catch us.
Rob: Oh, right. Didn´t I told you that the dog would save you?
Girls: NO!?? look I broke my leg!
Rob: Oops, my bad.
Then he runs away...

CAPTION:


girls: MARCO?
rob: POLO!
girls: EDWARD?
rob: CULLEN!

this is harlious! totally truee!

haha absolutley brilliant love!

hahaha love it!!

Rob: Hey girls!
at that second all the girls got dizzy and stop to breathe.
Rob in shock: Girls? can you hear me? did you get heart attack?or are you just too drunk? the hospital is just in the corner... please answer me!!
Girl #1(breathing again): No you are just so beautiful...
Girl#2: Do you want to kiss me?
Girl#3 thinking(how can anyone be so heartbreaking beautiful?) : You want some cig?
Rob: No thanks, I´m in cookie diet.
thinking( god they really need some cookies) and walk away

Caption:

Rob: NO MEAN NO GIRLS! MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU'LL LISTEN AND I WON'T HAVE TO GO ALL VOLTURI ON YOUR DRUNKEN ASSES!

CAPTION:

Rob: Girls... what are you doing?
The girls in one voice: Damn you just dazzled us.
Rob:(sighed) Oh god, don´t be such of Bella ffs! And beside I´m not a Edward now. Now I´m just a british Cedric so I can´t dazzle you guys... please go and visit a optician.

CAPTION: Sorry, forgot to turn off the DAZZLE!!!! Call for help!! They're dropping like flies!!

Caption: Honestly girls I am not thirsty. I appreciate the offer but your blood does not sing to me.

Caption:

OME, I cant tell if it is alcohol or his intoxicating scent making me feel this way!

CAPTION:
Rob: "GIRLS! Get out of here, not matter how much you smoke that will not allure me to kiss you!, and KRISTEN, get out of the bushes there is NOT any marijuana or weed in there!"

CAPTION- "Where is Taylor and Kellan? If these three turn on me I am going to need some back up!"

Caption: It appears that our Twilight heartthrob, Robert Pattinson, continues to dazzle the ladies with his vampire charm and intoxicating aroma even off the movie set.

Caption: Oh that's how I can get away from crazy fan girls...throw my ID..*fart* AW what was that? RUN!

Robert Pattinson walks passed a group of girls. He is so unbelievable beautiful that it hurts to look at him

Caption: Look Rob were drunk! Want to clean our blood out by sucking the Alcohol out?!?!

CAPTION: "Hey werewolve ladies, I don't smell THAT bad! Don't fell down, oh crap, you just did. Please, don't go! You can't hide from me forever!(smile)"

(Y) nice one

Hahahahaha, winner!

Caption: (as rob) im so beautyfull i make all the girls faint..and even that one guy.....

CAPTION: Drunken girl - "Is it just me or does it feel like we're falling sideways?"

CAPTION: "I thought my dazzling was only in Twilight"

"Thaaaaats it ladies, just keep looking for that lighter..." says heartthrob Robert Pattinson, while he slowly tiptoes away.

Rob:okay ladies whoever finds my hidden vodka bottle wins a date and a kiss.
Girl 1: Really?!*faints to ground*
Rob: Yeah! Ready...set...go!

CAPTION: In order from right to left and then center. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

hahaha! i love that saying... and it goes quite well :)

OMG ROBERT PATTISON threw his cigarette on the ground !!! GET IT

-xoxo

As three prostitutes pick up dimes off the sidewalk, one stumbled to the ground and stayed there. Robert, when asked what he was doing in this situation replied, "These three girls were so drunk, and I was so bored, I decided to watch them and see if they do anything stupid really"

CAPTION: Eventually everyone falls for RPattz.

From "Midnight Sun" to a little "Midnight Fun"

OOOOMMMMGGGG!!!!!! i absolutely love it! its short and simple, but has LOTS of meaning :) good job.

Want to hear a good joke!
Three drunk girls and Rob Pattinson walk into a bar. Oh wait, they walk out of a bar. No...who cares, it's RPattz. (Hopefully I'm one of those drunk girls.)

look you can play at being clumsy all you want but i know you're not bella!

CAPTION: "Nobody move.....I've lost a contact!!!"

Robert: Leaveme alone!!!!!
Girl in the floor: Please bitme!!
Robert: I tell you, I`m not Edward!!!!

Its mating season in the wilds of LA and here we can see how in the presence of the young Hollywood heartthrob robert pattinson, the young LA females loose control and surrender themselves to their animal instincts by performing a strange and aggressive mating ritual

caption: "Robert's sense of class; a genuine display."

CAPTION: Blend in with the surroundings. Much like T-Rex, if you don't move, Pattinson will not see you. This will infinitely increase your chances of standing within a 2 mile radius of this beautiful, beautiful man.

CAPTION: Rob: Look, I've already told you, I'm not Edward, I'm not a vampire, and I don't sparkle....STOP THROWING GLITTER ON ME and acting like Bella to get my attention!

Thought i'd give it a go.

Caption: Look girls, i don't need your drungs. I have my own brand of heroine.

ooommg! i love it! :)

CAPTION: "I bet Alice saw this coming"

Girl in black: Oh Rob!! I fell...help me!
Rob: Well what if I'm not the superhero? What if....I'm the bad guy?"
Girl in black: You stupid, shiny volvo owner!

CAPTION: "Cedric! HE'S AAALIIVEEE!" - Girls

CAPTION: " Blond girl : Look! It's a ladybug!
Girl with hat : OOH! where? lemme see!
Girl on the ground: Oh boy, this could take a while, might as well take a
little nap...
Rob: They stopped looking! RUN legs! RUUUUN! "

I love it Maud!!!
soooo good :) made me laugh, i can just imagine them saying that hahaaa

CAPTION: “After misreading his part in the script, Robert Pattinson walks up to three drunk girls for a scene in New Moon.”

"Look Robert spit his gum out!!! EBAY!! EBAY!! EBAY!!"

CAPTION:
Crap here comes Bella! Bury the rest of jacobs head and run away so i can still look hot and mysterious!

CAPTION:

(Girl #1 in brown) *hyperventilates* "Tee hee, maybe if I look away I won't look too obsessed!"
(Girl #2 in purple) "OMG! Rob spit on that patch of dirt! ...Will he notice if I pick it up???" *drools*
(Girl #3 in black) "Okay, I've never smoked before, but I heard Rob used to be a chain smoker. He'll be impressed... Am I holding this right?"

(Rob) "I think I almost know how the Beatles feel right now." *Rolls eyes*

Haha, I'm a huge beatles fan... SO TRUE!!!

If you're going to be my Bella then you're going to have to beg and work hard for it!

CAPTION: "Hey Ladies, Robert Pattinson is OVER HERE"

CAPTION: "Hey Rob!" "I think I found your condoms." Rob responds, "Not mine.", "Everyone knows that vampires don't wear condoms, we're dead and we shoot blanks!"

CAPTION:
Rob: "GIRLS! Get out of here, not matter how much you smoke that will not allure me to kiss you!, and KRISTEN, get out of the bushes there is NOT any marijuana or weed in there!"

:):):)

With kisses going for $55,000.00 (US), desperate fans sell their shoes, scrounge for change and hope Pattinson will take a little off the price in exchange for a pack of smokes.

CAPTION: Girl Bending over “Wheres My camera!
Girl in Black Dress"I don't know but he is getting a good look at you a**! Hey Rob wanna see mine?"
Girl in Brown Jacket:Here i'll turn around to give him a good look of my a**.
Girl Bending over: "Wait who took my shoes!?"
(Rob laughs and takes his hand and puts it through his hair.)
Rob: "Wheres my god d**** manger when I need him!?"

Caption: Robert Pattinson should come with a warning label:

Caution: While in my presence I tend to cause dizziness, rapid heart rate, lack of concentration, and confusion.

Rob: "I tried to warn you ladies. Where are your shoes sweetheart?"

Oh crap, I slipped on his sparkle!

VAMPIRE ON THE LOOSE!

Caption: YES i got there cigarettes, in my back pocket, there all on the floor, RUN!

caption: UMMMMMMMM i DONT KNOW THEM

Crap, I can't take my sisters or mother anywhere these days.....

Caption: so we had a little to drink, but the view I see is darn nice :)

It busts looks like he's looking at the girl in purple

CAPTION: "Oh crap, it's the cops! act normal!"

Caption:
"Edward why aren't you with Bella?"
Rob: Oh it's Jacob's turn. It's my day-off.

*so this is what happens when Edward is on a day off*

Faced with a decision, Spunk Ransom sacrifices his only shiny object to distract them: his lighter

Priorities of middle age drunken Twihards:

1. A Lighter
2. Robert Pattison
1000000000. Rehab

Caption:
WARNING: DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE PATTINSON.
DOING SO MAY CAUSE
CONFUSION, DIZZINESS AND IN RARE CASES
EVEN BLINDNESS!

Caption:
Rob: Okay girls here's the plan if we sneak around the back the paparazzi will never find us and therefore never know we're drunk! More importantly never find out I'm drunk!
Girl in black: Let me have a cigarette. (dunkenly falls to ground) Whoa! When did the ground get there!
Girl in purple: Ohhh! I want a cigarette too. OH MY GOD! I found my I.D. (bends to pick it up) Now if only I could find my shoes.
Girl in brown jacket: Jack asses won't even notice I stole their purse.

Hi,

Can someone please send me the bad@ss Edward Link?
I'm 18yrs.

jelley_been@hotmail.com

Thanks

Type your comment here.CAPTION: Three Rob Pattinson fans searching for lost dignity.

We're not here. They can't see us.

hahaa love it :)
simple but so cool

Caption: Rob: When I wanted them to leave, I told them I was a vampire and wanted to eat them. They asked if that would get blood on their shoes.

CAPTION:
Rob: "Why is everyone intoxicated by my very presence? Good thing vampires don't get drunk." :)

CAPTION:
Rob: " Welll, since you're all searching the ground with your butts in the air, i guess that means you don't have an extra cigarette? (thinking to himself) "Oookay I think I should go now."

hehehheh brilliant!

"when they relised rob's kisses were going for 55 grand each, the girls started frantically searching the surrounding areas for any spare change"

CAPTION:

"Come on now ladies quit fainting, i wasn't even trying hard, i can Dazzle better then that"

CAPTION: "TWI-HARD down! i repeat, TWI-HARD down!"

Caption:

"It does appear that these three women are suffering from a widely spread illness..
OCECD (Obsessive Coplusive Edward Cullen Dissorder)"

WARNING WARNING-
After a long study of OCECD we have concluded that rare interactions with or sightings of Edward Cullen can trigger your body to do strange things; the crippling need to fall over on you a$$, the inability to hold onto reality (or your credit card), and the overwhelming sensation to go into forested areas (or a nearby bush) and search for him...

you know yall like this,
soo click the LIKE button please and thank you :D
lol

caption: AND ALL I ASK FOR WAS A LIGHT!!!???

Caption: "Sweetie, if you wanna play leap frog, you gotta be FACING the camera..."

CAPTION: Not funny Jasper! I never said to make them feel like drunken idiots! What do I do with them now? Drop them off with the Volturi?

CAPTION:

Movie Poster for....."How NOT to be" when meeting Robert Pattinson - staring 3 young drunks

Rob: "Uh... I'm pretty sure this isn't how you play twister." With frightened trepidation.

...and who invited Michael Jackson?!?

Caption: *Rob, **girl on the floor, *** girl in brown jacket, ****Girl in purple blouse
*Are you ladies doing ok?
**Oh just trying to get on my feet.
****Yeah and I’m looking for my engagement ring. I think I threw it in here earlier. Thought “My fiancé is going to be so pissed.”
***AH...I can’t get up. Thought “Where did I leave my shoes?”
*thought “Ok this is hilarious.” Alright girls have fun, I gotta go.

Caption : " I guess he can bedazzle three ladies at once. Sometimes love knocks you down."

Rob thinks it's finally time for a little menage w/Kristen, Dakota, and Nikki . . .

Caption:
"Attraction Contest: The girl with the best way to attract RPattz will win a date with him!

Here are our contestants:

Contestant #1: (Girl bending over) What guy doesnt like a girl bending over & showing some ASSests??

Contestant #2: (Girl looking away) UGH! i hate not knowing what to do! *confused face*

Contestant #3: (Girl on the floor) Ohh?? Robert Pattinson? i thought Jesus came & i started praying!

Its ok RPattz, girls simply dont know what to do when you come around. Hahahaha!

Rob screams out, "Look, there's Edward!"
"What!?" Screams the two on the left as they get ready to run. The third tripped and couldn't get up on those heels.

CAPTION: "And at this exhibit, you will find the average super hot vampire preying on 3 wild girls, appearing to be digging for the greatest treasure of all, the very first published copyl of Twilight"

Caption: (Robert thinking) "Where'd the fourth girl run to? And what's with the playing cards? Man, the girls I attract keep getting stranger and stranger!

erm, ok, well this is arquard, i'm sorry, i dont really have control over my dazzling, do you want help?

oh no sorry i can see that makes it worse

"yep, still got it"

lol
Caption
Girl in purple: What is that?
Girl in Brown : ewwwwwww
Girl in black: I am NOT drunk!
Rob: ...maybe now i can make my escape!

=D

WARNING YOU MAY HAVE CONSUMED TOO MUCH ROBERT PATTINSON
Girl on ground: OMG I cant feel my legs!
Girl in hat: OMG Is that plant talking to me?
Girl without shoes: OMG There you are My Precious!
Rob: I think my butt is still here. Were ok!

CAPTION:
Fun after a night of heavy drinking....
Girl bent over: Oh no! I dropped my smokes!!
Standing girl: HA! There your personal heroin! ha, thats funny....
Girl in black *screams*: I KNOW WHAT I AM!
Standing girl: Say it OUT LOUD...
Girl in black: DRUNK!!! haha *falls over*
Rob: Let me just take you guys home, let me just grab my keys...
Girl bent over: No! rob lost his keys?! lets find them...
Standing girl: maybe they are in the bushes...
Rob: oh forget it...

Caption: Rob: Oh hey Cam, whos video is better now??

Rob:..... "okay, I'm sending you all on a scanvenger's hunt........"

CAPTION:

That's right ladies, I AM a force of nature.

CAPTION: Crazy white drunk women! I wonder if Edward Cullen had to put up with this?

BREAKING NEWS!
News Reporter- This just in! A local elderly resident has alerted the police about " a herd of wild animals " stampeding through the street. The woman described the situation as terrifying yet she couldnt look away.The zoo eventually was called out to capture the animals and discovered that it was just in fact another robert pattinson dazzling victim. When the zoo keeper tried to calm the ladies down he was impaled by one of the womans stillettos. After that Robert pattinson fled the from the scene screaming like a woman. The zoo keeper was hospitalized however his insurance doesnt cover " high heel impalement". The woman was put in a mental facility.

It WILL make you fall to the ground.......
It WILL make you walk on the streets with no shoes.........
It WILL make you search through the bushes for nothing.....
It is.....THE ROB EFFECT
Use it with caution it can be hazardous.

CAPTION- Rob: ...um...excuse me....uhh...i don't really know...eh...this is just 2 effing weird...*smirks & shakes head*

SIDE NOTE: WILL u three (itsREP, ilikeemsparkly, and robrocks) please get ur sorry a**es up and stop embarrassing us @ nmm.org! Geesh, we can never take you all anywhere!!

LMAO!! Nice..

What do you mean "embarrassing" - - You were the one who took the picture! You were supposed to wait until we ripped his clothes off, but NOOOO you just got too excited and had to snap the picture...And why didn't you turn the flash off? That is what scared him off.....Geeze. Talk about not being able to take people anywhere, we could have had a nekkid Pattinson picture....

**shaking head**
LOL
:)

WTH....I didn't know you all were going to be so d*mned uncoordinated!! I still don't know wth u were doing on the ground!!!.......way to go......i definetly don't see how ripping his clothes off had 2 do w/ you all's a** in the air...!

....AND don't try 2 act like u don't know y there's no more pictures.....if they only knew....if they only knew......

**waving hands in the air**

SSSHHHH!! Geeze, don't say too much on here.....Too many eyes....

LOL
:)

LOL

*pointing @ u disapprovingly*

......I told u not 2 take that vibrating doll......
..................& now everybodies got something 2 say about my tatoo!!......

*pointing @ wrist*

*sprints across the forum*

"nekkid...*pant*... pattinson... *pant*... what??? where"

*collapses*
LOL

CAPTION: (Rob) Hahaha, this is fun, it's like playing with a werewolf. (throws cigarettes) Fetch ladies... hahaha.

Girl 1 : I found Narnia!
Girl 2 : Where?!
Girl 3 : I lost my lighter
Rob : Oh thank God, I thought they found Hogwarts.

So not good but I tried!

Rob : GO TEAM PAUL!!
Girl 1 : *squats down to catch breath*
Girl 2 : *sits down to catch her breath*
Girl 3 : *falls down* What?!

Bwahahaha!

CAPTION: Crap our husbands are coming! Act like you dropped something!

CAPTION: rob : oops i dropped a penny. all girls: its mine!

caption:

rob: god i cant take you new born .... " children" anywhere!... gosh!
girl on the ground: *thinks* "i need a drink .. wheres bella? "
rob: DONT YOU START THIS AGAIN! YOU JUST HAD THE 3 GUYS BACK THERE! NO MORE! DONT MAKE ME CALL YOUR MOTHER!
girl with he butt showing: shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake your bootay bootay shake your bootay! yeah!
girl in the bush: why are you talking about bootay, he's a wearwolf, he has a tail, duh!
rob: YOU DONT SAY THAT!

Caption: Geez not them again. maybe i can sneak away..but that girl who is bare foot looks like she can run pretty fast..now i wish i had Edwards super speed...

Caption:
Edward: "oo i lost my cigarettes"
Purple fan: "ill get it" (bending over)
Bella: (about to shove girl in purple) "get away from my man"
Black fan:they smell so good
Bella: "retards there just breath mints"
Edward:"lets go Bella before you hurt yourself"

Rob: Ladies, what are you doing?!
Girl: We are trying to morph into super ugly girls before jacob black sees us
Girl in black: YEAH! You know he will tell bella you were with super hot chicks, just so she will dump you for him
Rob: morph into ugly girls? *sounds confused* well your transformation is complete *nervous laugh*

before twilight:
girls "eww get away from us CREEP"
Robert "but i thought it would be nice if i could get a date for once"
black "keep dreamin"
brown "im just going to go into the plants and think this through"
purple: (hickups, dropping her ciggs) "oops, i did it again, dropped my cigarretes, got lost in the dark, oo baby baby"
Robert "wow....im just going to leave now" (gets up laughing)

CAPTION: All women have fallen for you and they can't get up!

CAPTION: Alright ladies, I think this is as close to a public loo as we're going to get

"I'VE GOT A PROBLEM! I DREAM ABOUT IT EVERY DAY. i HAVE TO READ FROM IT EVERYDAY. i CHECK THIS SITE EVERYDAY. I TRIED TO DRINK BLOOD AND MORE THEN ONE OCCASION. i COVERD MYSELF IN DAZZLING SPRAY. i TRIED TO JUMP OUT OF A TWO STORY AND HOPED TO END UP ON THE FAR BRANCH WITH A CAT ON MY BACK. i HAVE A PROBLEM. IM IN TOO MUCH LUV WITH THE TWILIGHT SAGAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS... aLL OF THESE ABOVE ARE TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAPTION "(rob) Hey blondie... Nice hiney, but where did you put your shoes again?"

Caption: "Oops! I just farted. Please excuse me. Let me help you find your shoes. Did not mean to blow them off and knock you down. See, I am just a regular guy!"

Everyone hurry and stumble into the bushes before anyone sees us! Oh too late the pop found up now were on film might of well just lye down on the floor and go to sleep.

CAPTION: Rob- Let's go new MOONING girls.
Girl on Ground- O.K. Edward!!!
Rob- Last one to show there arse to the camera looses!!
Girl in Purple- I'm gonna win!!
Rob- Bloody hell!!

We all need to run and hide James, Victoria, and Laurent are coming!!! That doesn't mean to stumble around and lye on the ground!

Caption:
Rob: Quick, I think they've seen us!!!
Girl in purple: I'm just playing along.... you know... pretending I've dropped something. (giggles)
Rob: Oh, you've dropped something alright. Where are your shoes??
Girl in black: Something *hick* smells funny, *giggles*
Girl in brown: Told you I didn't want to do this.
Girl in black: I like *hick* playing *hick* ding dong ditch. *hick*
Rob: That went well

CAPTION: "Oh for the love of all that's holy - I can just see the headline now - 'RPattz's charm and good looks makes the ladies swoon'. Ah well, at least they won't say I smell any longer, that one on the ground is gonna have bruise though - ouch." RPattz shakes his head and walks away.

girl on floor:smerrrrrrrrrrrrr

girl in purple: there is gum on the wall!, i want it!

girl in brown jacket : can i have some?

Rob : what the hell am i doing here!

COMMENT!!!!!
Robert: *gotta find way to escape crazy fan girls gotta find way to escape. THINK THINK!!!!! Oh i know* Throws pack of cigaretts in bush* "Whoops girls i think i've accidently droped my cigarrets!!! *fakes a =(*
Girls: "where over here?"
Rob: "no little more over there" *begins to run away*
Girls: Oh okkkay we'll go get them
Rob: yeah you do that

CAPTION: Hey ladies did you see the flame on that lighted fart?? Blimey that was a GOOD one! Uh...ladies?

Caption: "Jill, Kelly and Sabrina, is it? So do you always drink this much on the job"?

Yeah that's right.... I just dazzled three ladies at once!

Caption: No girls, Bella isn't here... we're fine!

CAPTION: What?!?! I'm not what you're looking for??? Dang these TEAM JACOB lunatics. I sparkle damnit!

No, I will not make out with you.

caption:nothin like some drunk girls with some cigarrets........i wonder if theyll let me have some?

Caption:
After Robert Pattinson mistakenly dropped his box of cigarettes, a swarm of females pounced on the opportunity to give them back to him.

CAPTION: "I am sorry girls. Your minds were blank, so I could not read it. I thought one of you was bella."

Caption:(Rob thinks and smiles wickedly) "Well at least they didn't scream at me."

Caption: Rob: "Friends don't let friends walk intoxicated."
Girls: "What? We're not intoxicated."
Rob: "You're intoxicated by my very presence."
lol

CAPTION: See, if you sit on the ground like this, bend over with no shoes on or wear a manly hat, You too can have Rob Pattinson looking for his security team!

Hide your face and maybe they won't know your human.

Caption: Yess!!! I've perfected my dazzle look so well that i can sweep women off their feet and cause them to lose their stuff in just one glance!!! Just in time for New Moon!! I bet Chris and the cast will be soo proud of me!!

caption :

today on daily news about Robert pattinson we can see that these girls are really trying out for eclipse early! with their vampire signature moves . wow women have really let themselves go with this one .

CAPTION: There can only be one Bella Swan. All other clumsy brunettes don't qualify, take a seat with Jessica.

Caption:
"Crazed fans try to lure Edward 'Robert Pattinson' by posing as Denali Clan"

"Ummmmmm Ladies i think we all had a wee bit to much to drink to night i we can't even stand up straight."

The Vanity Fair shoot was not going according to plan this time around....

(just ding-dong ditched)
CAPTION: GIRLS: " Do u think they know it's us?"
ROB: "No we have a really good hiding spot."

Caption: Rob we have your room key, I swear It's in the bushes... no, it's on the ground.. it's in my dress... I swear Rob don't go.

R: Actually I have it.

Caption:
girl on the ground- Look you guys look its Edward! I told you he was real!
Girl bent over- What? where? on the ground? Wheres my Tiny Edward!?!
Girl next to the girl bent over- Really? I'm not sure I will help you look though!
Girl on the ground- No, no, right in front of me!
Girl on the ground- Pretty please help me up edward!
Rob- I'm out of here you guys are crazy!

"Ummmmmm Ladies i think we all had a wee bit too much Rum to drink to night we can't even stand up straight."

caption: ladies please, i'm takin....well bella doesnt have to no, right? lets have ourselves a smoke shall we?(bella walks in) oh shoot bellas comin!! lay on the floor and look dead..ok..good...BE CAREFULL....
Bella: ahh edward, whats goin on?
edward: well i was hungry. PLEASE DONT TELL CARLISLE!!!

CAPTION: Breaking news these girls think they can get RPatz with their cleaning skills, more story after Robert goes and throws up.

Caption: I'm sorry miss, I told you I don't want to play ring around the rosie... I'd rather stare at that blonde girls butt.

Ok there’s the plan: we’ll put this pack of cigarettes on the ground and when goes to reach for them we’ll pounce on him and drag him somewhere nobody will every find him. ROBERT PATTINSON GOION TO BE OURS!!!!

Girls shouldn’t you have set the trap before I walked up and formed a plan somewhere I couldn’t hear you!

Dam he knows QUICK PLAY DEAD!!

I don't even know what to say but WTH? It looks like there should be a funny story behind that photo.

woohooo. first post!

lol congratulations!! :)

Holy Heck they fursploded! Where did Jacob run off too?

Caption: Rob stumbles across 3 obviously impaired females.

caption: VAMPIRE ON THE LOOSE!

Maybe they goes out from a pub or from a club, they have probably drink a bit to much and one of the girls or Rob loos one lenses of contact and they are all searching for that, and Rop can't breaf beacause he laugh to much!

Caption: Really Rob were NOT Drunkkk.... what makes youuu think that???

It looks like all 3 have wings on..maybe that's Kristen, Ashley, and Nikki

comment: what happens in vegas stays in vegas, right?

Caption: Tell me again,WHAT THE HELL am i doing here.

Rob : " Other chicks stalking me...but they're drunk. I can make it..If I run this way..."
The blonde girl : " Oh Rooooob...where are you? I could've swear I saw you somewhere in this bush"
The girl with the hat: " Yeah..you're right..I saw him,too.He must have hide somewhere.Search more,Search more!"
Rob: " They're even drunker than I am!"
The Girl from the floor:" You two are so stupid!Here he is...I have to take a shot of thaaat.."
Rob:"I gotta run for my life,but first .....ahh...something itchy in my pants..okay..there you go...that's so much better...where was I? Ohh..yeah..the part where I have to run!"

CAption: Why hello there.

Caption: Whyyyyy helooooo theree(hicup)eeeeee

CAPTION: You know you're drunk when you have to hold onto something, even when laying down, because everything is spinning.

CAPTION:
ALL(SLURRING VOICES): "WE'RE NOT DRUNK, THE SIDEWALK IS JUST SLANTED AND UH YEAH...NOT DRUNK AT ALL."

Caption: Wow i thought bowling for chicks would have been more fun than this. Man that hurt my bum.

Caption: Rob: "Girls, I think I can walk myself back to my car. You should find a cab." In his head: Stupid fangirls...even drunk they're odd.

Caption: "Goldilocks (Robert) and the three bears (the ladies)" a story with a TWIST!..a really big TWIST!

Edilocks and the three drunken ladies...lol

CAPTION: "Looking for Edward, he's an appartion after a couple drinks"!

Caption First one to find my keys wins a prize.....

Unfortunatley I found them here with me so Rob I"m still waiting on my prize

Rob:"Does anyone have a light?"
Girl on the ground:"Ohhh, I do! Stupid blonde just tripped me!"
Blonde:"Holy crow! R.Pattz just asked me for a light? Tim to flash some of the goods!"
Girl in the Jacket:"Oh Hale NO! She just flashed him...time to look away OR should I ask him to bite me?"

Caption: (ROB) My butt is so hotter than hers!

That was long ago

Is this a recent picture? Haven't seen it before. Lucky girls.

no,it's a very old pic.

Yeah...really old pic, but still SO funny!

Had a little bit too much to drink, ladies?

Caption: I seemed to have lost a pen...ahha the things fans will do ;)

thats is a very old picture in London!!

CAPTiON: They keep fallin for him but theyre OVERBOARD?

lucky ladies

hahaha poor Rob looks like he ran into a Drunk Stalkers Camp :D
dammit!
NMM ladies, that should be us!!!

There not looking... nows my chance to RUN!

Caption: First one to find my find my keys gets a prize.......

Unfortunately I found his keys here with me so Rob I'm still waiting on my prize

thats so not fair.
i live in the uk :'(

yummy

CAPTION: oooooo, someone's been working out!

Three girls who run into Robert desperately search for something he can autograph:
girl bent over: you can sign this piece of paper I found!

Caption: Oh crap I dropped it...I got it...*whinning* I fallen and I can't reach my edward..Rob: that ok ladies you don't have to fight I am out of here.

Good God while these drunken ladies are looking for a pen i will make my exit,QUICKLY!

COMMENT: STOP! i'm stronger then i thought...

lol sorry i thought it was funny :]

Rob:.."is that my ride?
Girl in jacket: :"
i'm so ashamed!!"
Blonde:.."ooohhhh a quarter"
Girl on ground: "shit!..my nail!"

having one too many....PRICELESS

CAPTION:
The girl in the black seems to want to show Rob her boobs, the girl in the purple her butt, but Rob only seems to want to look at the girl showing him his back. Is that an English thing?

CAPTION: AND HERE I WAS THINKING THAT BELLA WAS THE ONLY CLUMSY ONE, MUST BE THE WATER IN FORKS!

CAPTION: "Hey! Purple shirt, I told you... no more monkey impersonations! You are NOT a monkey!

Caption:
As our four friends fall over drunk walking home from the nearest pub, rob realizes he should have brought emmett and sneakily begins to slink away backwards.

Caption:
Rob only seems interested in the girl showing him her back... British thing maybe?

CAPTION: "Hey aren't you the waitress from Twilight? Have you been falling for me? I mean following me!?"

Okay, I've lost my indie, low-key out-of-papz/fan-girl-radar-regular-person status, GO FIND IT!
OR
I've seem to have lost my cigarette carton, can you girls please find it. If you do I'll give you a dollar. Who can resist a dollar? You know you want it.

Caption: Robert Pattinson out and about with 3 female companions who have obviously inhaled too much of that intoxicating "Edward" aroma.

Um, I could really care less if you think you are having a "Bella" moment.

CAPTION: I told you girls that I only want one type of Heroine, and thats Bellas.. Sorry ladies please be on your way...

So sad I don't live in the US !!! :(

I would write somthing like :
Caption : (makes his crooked smile)
" ok, NOW I can sit with you and watch the real effect I have on girls" (lights a cigarette)
-ROB-

bugger, now what the bloody hell am i supposed to tell the agency about these three...oh i was just interviewing them to be stunt devils..bollocks maybe i should just sparkle my eyes, trousle my hair, and play the innocent card. yes that will work!

Here let me get that for you.

Caption: haha Robert. I wonder if any magazine asked if anyone of these girls is his girlfriend. Probably Robert cant even go out with a girl and if he does they assume its his girlfriend. Poor guy! Thats why i kind of want to be spotted in public with him because i would be honored to be call Robert Pattinson "Girlfriend". LOL

CAPTION : Kelly ! , kim ! quick get the taser I'll block his way so he can't escape mohahah !!!

CAPTION: “I could've sworn you had a cut on your finger. I was only trying to knock you out of Jasper's way.”

bugger, now what the bloody hell am i supposed to tell the agency about these three...oh i was just interviewing them to be stunt devils..bollocks maybe i should just sparkle my eyes, trousle my hair, and play the innocent card. yes that will work!

Caption: "Its just a quarter ladies......we'll find another one."

... and who's the bitches? robert really sucks, I don't like him anymore... such a PLAYBOY!!!!!!!!!!

haha

wow nice pic

ooohh i like this font btw. (that wasn't my caption)
CAPTION: "Maybe if we crouch down really small he won't notice us, i get my tips off all the best stalkers ;)"

Caption:- "What The"

OK girls we're here to talk about how not to fall down with a cigarret on hand like your friend down there.... well al least they don't make me run for my life like other fans

Girl in black: "I've had a little bit too much....oh oh ohhhh I think I got Edward Cullen to blushh...oh oh ohhhh"

Girl in purple: (Booty poppin to girl in black's song)

Girl in brown jacket (to herself): "Wow...lilac honey and sun? This is definitely not Edward, cuz this boy's breath is kickin!"

Rob: "Would anyone fancy another brandy?"

Caption: Just another photo to show the amazing effect that Rob's sparkle has on the ladies... Intoxicating...

Caption: look i fell, help me rob!?!?!?!

CAPTION: Yesss!!! I've perfected my dazzle look so well that I can sweep women off their feet and make them lose their belongings with just one glance!! Just in time for New Moon!!

Caption: Rob: " Oh my God, Check out that a**
Girl on ground. "How the hell did i get on the ground, I dont remember a thing." Holy Crap...It's Rob"

There Intoxicated on Sparkles so I am Driving .

rob is f**king hott!!

CAPTION: Okay Ladies, how much do i owe you for the buy two get one free?

Caption:
Crazed fans try to entice Robert Pattinson by acting as Denali Clan

Caption: DAZZLED!

Caption: Rob say: Hey girls i write my phone number in a piece of papeer and it felt down, can one of you find it and give me a call?" It's a good way to scape them! - Rob Think.

As if not enogh being follow for papz now he have to deal with crazy fan.... even drunk ones.

Caption: Thankfully, I can run blindingly fast. Now, which direction?

CAPTION: "Er.....guys, if you lookin for me.....im right here????"

caption: the women in purple is sticking her but out second the girl in black is crazy for trying to show off and the girl in brown seems like she wants nothing to do with rob.

"Quick get up before the Paparazzi finds us..Crap to late!"

Caption:(Robert)Sorry ladies, I've got gas, I didn't mean to blow you down. Watch those cigarettes!!!

caption: 1 2 3 4 get your woman on the floor......Ladies a little help here?!?!

caption: run she is down

Caption: small earthquake jolts the town.

the US is sooo lucky i cant enter lol

me neither :( so not fair....

(just ding dong ditched)
CAPTION: GIRLS: "do u think they know it's us?!?!"
"ROB: " no we have a good hiding spot."

wow

the girl in the black looks drunk as hell the girl with the purple shirt looks like shes trying to pee on a paper and the girl with the hat looks like shes about to get on the girl with the purple shirt for a piggy back ride and robert is just watching laughing at the three girls like i am right now!!lol .lmao

Oh sorry girls I didnt take a bath again! Am I really that stinky that you drop your belongings and you have to barf in a bush? Cmon ladies im rob freakin pattinson! deal with it im hot!

One down..two to go :))

"TWISTER ANYONE?" Right hand on BLUE, Left foot on GREEN.... who's turn is it to spin?

Caption:
girl on floor: rob im drunk as hell and well u come help me get up?
purple shirt girl: dont jump on me hat girl im trying to pee on this paper.
hat girl: i want a piggy back ride purple shirt girl and ur in the position so here i go ready.
robert: u girls r hilarious but i gotta go film so bye have fun wit ur issues

Caption: Females fall into position by the mere presences of RPattz.

Rob: Come on woman, time for sex.

Ok there’s the plan: we’ll put this pack of cigarettes on the ground and when goes to reach for them we’ll pounce on him and drag him somewhere nobody will every find him. ROBERT PATTINSON GOION TO BE OURS!!!!

Girls shouldn’t you have set the trap before I walked up and formed a plan somewhere I couldn’t hear you!

Dam he knows QUICK PLAY DEAD!!

CAPTION: probably all the girls were drunk... rob was passing them, when the ( sitting on the floor) maybe fell because she tried to pick up her zigarrett... the blond one saw rob and droped her zigarrette box and the other one is trying to get away from the cameras.. Rob was just trying 2 be a gentleman!!! lol ;)

CAPTION: (Rob) I only surround myself with high class girls.

i just LOVE this website

CAPTION: " Blimey, I guess these girls do want a good sucking"

girl in black: smerrrrrrrrrrrr
girl in purple: there is gum on the wall!!, i want it

girl in brown jacket: can i have some?

Rob: what the hell am i doing here !!! fml.

Caption: "Sorry ladies I thought you knew, I'm not really a vampire in real life. I can't change you over....sorry.

I don't get this in London.

Caption

Girl in brown jacket" Look Robs throwing some Limited Edition Twilight Trading Card for us fans grab em"
Girl in black dress" Oh no one went up my dress, have to get it. oh no cant control my balance"
Girl in printed top" oh i got it. yippyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, Rob can i get a kiss now"
Rob " wait, only after i stop staring at your Ass"

CAPTION:
ROB: i dazzle you dont i ladies?
ROB TO HIMSELF: i could get used to this having girls throw themselves at my feet
GIRL IN BROWN: nope nope im looking for my friends shoe
GIRL IN BLACK FALLS OVER:nope *hick* who are you *giggles* and why do you have pink rabbits dancing at your feet?
GIRL IN PURPLE: argh im gonna be sick!
ROB:uh uh no way i will not allow you to be sick anywhere me or my sparkles
GIRL IN BROWN: time to get you two home your both pissed as farts

Oh Crap! I just farted and I think that the girl in black fell down on the ground because of the smell and the blond one wants to vomit and the girl in the leather jacket wants to hide in the bushes. But who cares I'm a vampire, my farts smell like Dolce & Gabbana parfume!

CAPTION '" and who said the french don't have fun"

Whoopsie-Doodle!!!

Caption: VAMPIRE ON THE LOSE!!!!!

does anybody know the person in the brown jacket is that kristen post

i was thinking maybe it could be her, the hair color and the frame fits her .. but does kristen like that sort of handbag? ..

Caption: Red light...Green Light...STOP! You guys are so good, you make my butt ich.

Caption: VAMPIRE ON THE LOSE!!!!!!!

CAPTION :
Brown-jacket girl: Hmmm, maybe his sparkle "materials" are hiding behind the plants.
Purple: Maybe the sparkle would come to me when I show my credit card and say I'm rich.
Black-dressed: LOSERS! Don't look for the sparkles, wait for it to go to you! I should look gorgeous-- like Rob, so that I would sparkle too. Let me pose here. :D

Robert: *weird people. they would only sparkle if there's SUN. :|*

I guess second hand smoke really does kill!

Caption:
It's like the Wilds of the jungle out here in the Streets of L.A. , Young women willing to do anything to get their unsuspecting prey,ready to pounce at any second, while the prey (Young Hollywood star Robert Pattinson) Looks on wondering when his time will come, as the girl on the ground sturggles to get up to try her pounce again :)

Caption- rob: "im not even suppose to be here today!!!"

the girls with cigs on their hands are fans, the black dress girl is the fan that always tried to get her hands on rob .. lol...
the leather jacket girl could be kristen ..together with rob...on a date... ;:D

Rob: Have you girls seen my sparkle, i dropped it
girl in black: I'll shift into a mongrel then i;ll have a better view
two other girls: i think i found it, never mind its just body glitter
hope you like it xD

CAPTION Rob " Shake that @ss girl!"

CAPTION:These girls start falling and vomiting every time I pass by...I don't smell that bad do I?

CAPTION: CAUTION!! It has just been discovered that smoking either around or with Rob Pattinson can cause the same intoxicating affects as alcohol. Please USE him with responsibility.

Caption
Rob- Well my work here is done. Ladies, you hvae officialy been dazzled!

Girl in black dress: Help rob ive fallen and i cant get up.
Rob: she is totally flashin me her bush
other girls :OMG!!!

Caption: Every time I walk by these girls either faint or start vomiting. I guess It really is time I took a shower.

"Ladies...wait! I can change into a wolf too!....Damn it Jacob!"

CAPTION: (girl on the ground) "Rob, stop staring at Rosalie's ass... Alice knows what's going on.."
(girl in bush) "If Emmett finds out he is going to tear you apart.. and quite possibly burn the pieces!"

CAPTION: can't you girls be more...i don't know, animal like? we're supposed to be on a hunting mission right now!
girl on the floor: hello, mr cullen
girl in the purple: aaah, where the hell are my shoes? edward help me! edward?
other girl: look at me, i'm hunting right? this is the hunting position after all
edward: , unfortunately i can not help you find your shoes - as my hunting activities have caused something of a mess for me as i am not edward cullen thank you very much
he walks off and girls cry hysterically LOL
what the hell are they doing, may i ask?
what ARE they actually doing?

CAPTION: the polite Robert Pattinson was helping three helpless women to find their way home, but one of the ladies is fallen down because of the heels. so, Rob has held her in arms, but she was too heavy and he has involuntarily left the hold. now, Rob is suffering for a backache. fans in trouble.

PS: I'm italian...I hope I guessed the verbs :D

Caption:
Girl on ground: Hey look girls! It's rob from Twilight!
Girl with no shoes: no way!
Girl on ground: come on act like were not drunk!
Girl with hat:( not paying attention to girl on ground): Hey lets go find those cigarettes we found on the ground! Maybe if we get lucky he will like us for it( starts staggaring around the bushes)
Girl on ground: I found a cigarette! Hey he's coming this way!
( girl with no shoes and a hat not paying any attention)
Rob: wow you ladies are wasted.
girl on ground: hey rob I'll give you this cigarette for an autograph and if you help me up!
Rob: well its just a cigarette( checks his pocket for his pack of cigs.) aww man! all my cigarettes are gone! Alright who do I make this autograph out to?

I don't want to be a part of the competition cause I'm not aloud to but I wanted to write something for it! I hope you guys like it even though it really isn't that good

CAPTION: Oh Lord, what have I gotten my self into now?

CAPTION: stop, we have you surrounded ! put your hands in the air and dont move !
xD

*Damn these girls are losing things easily!* No wait I lost my cigaretts! purple fan: Ill gettem boo!
*yeah u do that! EWWWWW im throwin those away later.* Black fan: Rob help me up?? Rob: Oh Hell no! Get away! Brown fan talking to purple fan: get up fat butt!! Rob: Girls lose things fast where are my cigarettes!?

CAPTION: (Rob) I didn't know that when they talked about falling for someone it actually could happen

(Dark haired woman on the ground, slightly intoxicated)
" I'll take a picture of Rob that no one has ever seen before, angled up just slightly,,,, does IT sparkle" *giggle, giggle* *hiccup*

(Brown haired woman and Rob)
"Wait.... did you hear that"
"Oh no, someones coming, prepare to run"

(Blonde woman)
"Sorry, it slipped, I didn't mean to pass gas.......... Well not to fart that LOUD anyways"
*tThinking* "Drop something and act like your picking it up" *giggles*

Caption:
"Sorry ladies, I don't dig chicks who can't smoke and walk at the same time."

CAPTION: You girls give a new meaning to Love Drunk!

CAPTION: Girl Bending over “Wheres My camera!
Girl in Black Dress"I don't know but he is getting a good look at you a**! Hey Rob wanna see mine?"
Girl in Brown Jacket:Here i'll turn around to give him a good look of my a**.
Girl Bending over: "Wait who took my shoes!?"
(Rob laughs and takes his hand and puts it through his hair.)
Rob: "Wheres my god d**** manger when I need him!?"

haha - rob: what the hell am i doing, drunk out of my mind, with not 1, not 2, but 3 girls in a foreign place! i need to get on a plane or shoot some extremely intense edward/bella scene at 6 oclock tomorrow morning!
girl in purple and girl bending over: help! help, where's my camera
girl in black, smug: LOL guys, i am totally getting hot as HELL pics here! just the right angle, a little to the left, Perfect!

R pattz - where is the exit?
girls all together: EDWARD!
girl in purple: i found him! my dream edward
girl next to her: No, dearest he is next to me ----
edward??????
Rpattz, halfway away from them: girls, for the last time, I AM NOT EDWARD CULLEN!
girls cry: but you told us to hunt!
Rpattz: and keep Looking! until you are far away from me and my fellow cullen actorians!

Girl with brown jacket: OhMyGod! Is this the meadow!!!! EDWARD! Hey- my name is Bella!

Girl in purple shirt: Whats up my name is Rosalie and look at my a**!!!! Aww Sh** i dropped my crack....I hope emmett didnt see that.

Girl in Black dress: See, look Rob, im totally clumsy, and i just happened to fall on my face with you here. Does that remind you of anyone??

Rob: What the hell-I should just change my name to Edward.

LOL! that last bit cracked me up! LOL

rob: hi there, you seem a little waisted. need a hand?
girl on the floor: no baby, i'm down here for you, come join me, you SEXY BEAST!!!
rob: Security!!!!!!!

Sorry, No Dazzling In This Area...

(just dingg-dong ditched)
CAPTION: GIRLS: "Do you think they know it's us?"
ROB: "Naww, we have a good hiding spot."

CAPTION:
Sorry, No Dazzling In This Area...

a girl getting high in front of rob

There are some things that just can not be un-seen, unfortunately this is one of them! (People Literally FALLING all over Robert Patterson, I mean obsessed much!)

Robert:

'WOW...I should have brushed my teeth this morning!

(Rob) I wish I was really Edward tonight so I could run away faster from these drunk chick. I hope they don't chase after me !!!!!!!!!!!!

i frogot to put COMMENT on mine! woops

CAPTION:

All i did was ask for a bloody light...and down they went!

Rob: you girls can help me get kristen right???

girls: ya let us just get twihigh first

rob:uh oh not again girls we already went through this no more drinking or here comes rehab

"Where is that DAMN lighter?!?!?!?!?!"

Caption: These ladies take the saying "Once bitten, twice shy" to the max!

Quote: OMG, did I really drink that much?

"Left hand blue... Thats it now right butt cheek green... I love playing sidewalk Twister....

CAPTION: "Wow they MUST be drunk, they're not all over me.... today is a good day! Maybe I should help her..."

"I swear, officer, I never touched them They did this all on their own."

CAPTION: Rob says, "Nice Night, ladies", "May I ask where your shoes are?" (to blonde in purple shirt" ; Girl in Brown jacket, "She (pointing at girl on ground) fell and took down her (pointing at girl in purple) with her. Her shies went flying into this bush,and we can't get them back!" ; Girl on ground, "Holy Cow, you're Rob Pattinson! What are youdoing here?"; Girl in puple while picking up her driving license turns around , and drops it once more! Girl in Brown jacket had not heard this comment and was still looking for the shoes while girl in purple shirt picks up license once more. While Rob starts to laugh quietly to himself while watching girl in brown look for shoes!

Caption: rob-"Ladies, no need to find a match, I sparkle.*crooked smile*"
girls on the ground-*contented sigh*

CAPTION "OMG OMG OMG OMG ITS ROBERT PATTINSON!!!!!!!!! AND HE JUST PEED IN THE BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE!I MUST HAVE IT, i MUST COLECT THE PEE! I GOT IT!!! (HOLDS UP A CUP FULL OF...) :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Caption-girl in black dress, "EDWARD, i MEAN ROB, HELP ME i'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP." i HAVEN'T READ EVERYONE'S SO i AM SORRY IF I STOLE SOMETHING TO THIS EFFECT. nOT INTENTIONAL. i JUST DON'T HAVE TIME TO READ THOUSANDS OF POSTS. how the hell has this pic never surfaced b4?? maybe it has but i have never seen it. I wonder what Summitt is thinking right now. Pehaps it's an old pic. I still ♥ u Rob but I hope this isn't the typical company u keep-drunk, bumbling idiot girls who can't hold their alcohol-ha ha!

Lady in black: Hey Rob, I fell flat on my A**, doesnt it bring back memories?
Lady in purple: If she fell on her a** , why dont you look at mine? * bend over*. S**t i droped my pot, that was my last one too.
Lady in brown: Ummm Rob, i'm in a green bush. Do you know what i'm thinking?
Rob: UMMM, Security, Security, Some chick want my body!!! And i haven't showered yet!!!

As you all can see, the vampire has gotten about three human girls,and might try a different type of mating ritual that no one has ever heard of.Edward better hope that Bella doesn't find out!!!!!!!

Rob : ''Whoever finds the key to Edward's Volvo gets a ride..''
Girl standing up * oubviously drunk * : ''where is it..''
Blonde girl : ''I'll find it for you Rob.. I like your pretty socks''
Girl on the floor : ''I give up.. but from down here I got a nice view of your..''

Hey, where is the next party?

CAPTION: “I could have swore I just saw a werewolf!”

Rob - "Hmm nice butt on that one"

This was me, gonna be using this name from now :)

CAPTION: “Stupid Werewolf look where you're going!!!"

CAPTION;As you all can see the vampire has gotten about three human girls for a new type of mating ritual, at that is getting them drunk and pretending like you have no idea what your doing.He better hope that Bella doesn't find out because if she does then he's going to have to use this lame excuse when she asks who are those girls and why are they under u? And all he'll say is I don't know!

Caption: "Girls, I don't just stop and help any clumsy ass that crosses my path."

Robert (Thinking) Oh crap I guess their drunker that I thought. Grabbing for his phone. I need to call Jasper and have him come down work on these ladies moods. I think that they forgot I was here. Ah yea I'll call Emmet and have him come and carry the one that has fallen and can't get up.

"Lets' pretend that THEY don't see us!"

CAPTION: ( Man why does this always happen to me.)

CAPTION: wait do u girls have boyfriends , cause i only go out with girls with boyfriends ...havent any of u girls seen me with camlia belle.....duh

Pattinson has struck again-dazzling the ladies-they just cant walk.

Be careful Robert, who knows what they are up to

CAPTION: Robert Pattinson observes the natural habitat of the wild fan girls

Holly crap, we can't believe who we see,

Ladies, where are you doing? My room is this way!

CAPTION: Rob-Bloody Hell! All this just for a damn smoke break! What the hell am i suppose to tell Kristen now!

Can someone email me the link for this Bad A** Edward story I;m reading about. I'm over 18 so I'm old enough lol. email is rcwallace_1@yahoo.com

CAPTION : Hey Rob will you bite my butt?

Girl One: I can't find my underwear anywhere!
Girl Two: Is this position good?
Girl Three: I can sit down!


Rob: KRISTEN? WHERE!??!!

CAPTION : HEY ROB, WILL YOU BITE MY BUTT ?

CAPTION: ( Man why does this always happen to me.)

Caption: "No rob we arent Drunk.. its an inner ear thing.."

CAPTION: "BLAME IT ON THE VODKA, BLAME IT ON THE HENNY, BLAME IT ON MY SCENT GOTCHA FEELIN DIZZY..."

Caption:
Girl in purple: Hey whats this?
Girl in Brown: Thats mine!
Girl in Purple: I found it first!!!!!
They keep arguing.
Girl in black: How ya like my legs Rob?
Robert: Umm...
Girl in black: Want my cigerrate?
Robert: No thanks....
He runs away lol

Caption:-Rob: Whats everyone looking for?

Caption- Quick Everybody act sober...... wait for it ...wait for it....damnit EPIC FAIL !!

Caption:

Girl in purple: hey *hicup* look at this pre-*hicup*-ety room card on the *hicup* ground... won-*hicup*-der who's it is?
Girl in black: oh dang i just fell and hurt my ankle... help me up robby?
rob: *darn it where is that bloody room card* hun? were you talking to me
Girl in purple:*shaking her butt trying to get a better view of the bushes* uh..*hicup*.. Wha-*hicup*-t the heck is... is that in the bush-*hicup*-es!!
Rob:*sees kstew in the bushes & dies laughing @ the butt shaker*..... Kristen Jaymes Stewart what in this bloody world are you doing hiding in a bush!?!?!?!
kstew [girl in brown]: bush what bush * drat he found me... now what am i suppose to tell him*
girl in purple: i think *hicup* i told her *hicup* to... to.... to.. hide *hicup* there.
kstew: * listen to the drunk girl* yeah that's it... HIDE-AND-SEEK..
girl in black: HELP ME UP DANG IT!

caption: (Rob) OK nice job trying to be a warewolf *yay* *squeal* ..now, lets try a more graceful approach shall we?... strike a pose as a..VAMPIRE!!

Caption:
Rob: "Hey Girls I can't Bite YOU ! I Only Bite BELLA !
Girls: "WHY ? !"

Caption:
Rob: Have you found him?
Girls: nope, still can't find Waldo

Honestly girls, I am not thirsty. I appreciate the offer but your blood doesn't sing to me.

Caption: Rob: damn i lost my hair gel, who ever finds it first will get a free ride in my volvo.

caption: sparkle you fool sparkle......where out of here you cant sparkle we are going to go and find Jacob

CAPTION: We should have had a V8!!!

CAPTION: Apparently, it’s not just Bella, Edward makes all the girls feel a little clumsy.

CAPTION: Have I dazzled you?

Caption: "Girl on the ground: I'm not moving until you turn Team Jacob.
Girl holding Card: I'll pay for your conversion! I think there is an ATM right around here somewhere.
Girl with brown jacket: Yea bend down right there it is you've almost got it!
Rob: Ladies, I think you've had a little to much to drink. But I admire you're enthusiasm. Let me get a pen out of my pocket here....autographs anyone?"

CAPTION: "Rob, we're a little tipsy and we can't leave anything behind for the Twi-hards to find or TMZ to boast about on eBay. I've got your cigarette butt. It's right there. No, stay there -- we've so got this. Rachel, cover that lighter on the ground before this pesky photographer pap snabs it. Alex, can you try and find that lock of hair that fell off in the bushes? I think we might have to dig in the dirt here, ladies. Assemble!"

CAPTION: Rob, will you help us find Michael's nose?

Rob thinking while he puts his hands into his pants and digs at his butt...."Good thing i hired these sluts to distract everyone.*sigh* I really need to get some cream."

CAPTION : NO WAY! BECKY,JENNY,LUCY GRAB THEM! ITS RAINING CIGARETTES!

I can't post but am so curious..who are these 3 girls and how did they get so close to Rob?!! Rather embarrassing situation for them to be photographed in!!

I can't enter but I just wana say I LOVE this site and I wana THANK ALL YOU LADIES (and occasional guys) for just supporting The Twilight Saga and Rob! Reading all your comments always puts me in high spirits and inspires me a lot!
THANK YOU ALL SUPPORTERS, LOVERS, AND BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!
XOXO

Caption: Did I somehow wander onto the set of Celebrity Rehab?

CAPTION: Rob, can you help us find Michael's nose?

Hey a guys are are you sure your alright. (GIRLS) Yah yah were alright Sparkel, hey can we call you sparkel. (ROBERT) Sure you can but we half to go into my hotel room or sompthing kids are going to start going to school and waking up. (GIRLS) Oh how cute he is making up reasons to go inside so we wont see him sparkel. (ROBERT)(Thinking to him self) What is it with dumm ass LA girl. (Robert) I dont sparkel in the sun. (Girls) Yah you do I saw it in Twilight Edward Cullen. (Robert) Im not Edward Cullen im Robert Pattinson, and its just body glitter that I were.(GIRLS) Quit liying Sparkel, why are you liying to us.(Robert) Im not liying to you.(GIRLS) Yes you are I saw you on the big screen, in the books.(Robert)Securety,Securety,Securety,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Help!!! or your fierd!!!!!!!

P.S. They were all fierd

OK, if you can find that damn lighter and stay on your feet for 30 seconds you can come inside for a 5-minute quickie dazzle!

...thats awkward.......

Ok, if anyone can find the damn lighter and stay on her feet for 30 seconds, you can come in for a 5-minute quickie dazzle!

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!

CAPTION: rob : oops i dropped a penny. all girls: its mine!

LMAO... oh my... I'm not even gonna enter... I enjoy reading all these captions... lol... good ones guys =]

But um... those "girls?" Hmm... not very ladylike are they? Makes me feel better about getting a chance to spend some time w/ Rob... ahh I'll just bring some cigs for my sweetie pie lol!!

CAPTION:
Rob- omg. i cannot keep picking up drunken prostitues.
i cant get away with it if they fall all over the place.

CAPTION:
Rob: Ooh, a pap. Good. I've been hanging out with these ridiculous girls all night, just waiting for the snap of a picture. It'll be all over the internet in no time. I can only hope that Kristen will be jealous... Or maybe Angarano will be jealous... Either way, I can only do what I can in hopes of a nasty break-up. And then, who will Kristen have to turn to? Her Edward? Hehe... me.

Caption: "oooo, I thought I got away from these days!!!! *shiver*"

Caption: Edward cullen isnt the only one with special powers, Rob Pattinson is able to turn girls into real life Bella Swans in which they often fall when he is around!

hey whoever lives in Italy or is going to Italy you got pictures of Robert and Kristen.and please post them or e-mail me (sugarone37@aol.com)

Rob Pattinson ready to fall in love, when others stop falling....

CAPTION:

"You're intoxicated by my very presence"

*ROB* Excuse Me, By Chance Do One Of You Ladies Have a Cigarette and a Light?

**DRUNKIN, STAGGERING**

*GIRLS* OMG OMG YES!!! WE CHAIN SMOKE CUZ OF YOU!
OHH EMM GEE (Girl Just Standing Stunned)
I GOT IT!!! You want the PACK? OOOPS! (Girl Squating)
NO, NO I GOT IT, I HAVE A MATCH TOO!!!!!(Girl on ground)
*Rob* Err, I Umm I Think the Girl on The Ground Got It .... Cheers...(Runs AWAY)

I'm not going to enter, but had to comment. This has got to be the most random picture of Rob. I'd rather have the story behind it than read any comments. When was it taken? And who are those girls? This could be any Saturday night out in any city in Britain, bet Rob feels right at home with these drunken girlies, it must remind him of being back in UK.

Caption:
Girl 1: Rob does my bum look big in this?
Rob: Mhmm i would say so, but i can't really tell from here!
Girl 2: I'll take a closer look for yah!
Girl 3: Where am i? :/ confused.

Caption: Hurry Girls! If a peck on the cheek from me could raise $20,000, imagine how much a strand of my hair would be worth on ebay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAPTION:

"You're intoxicated by my very presence"

CAPTION: Rob "Now.....They're all so drunk..I just have to make sure I remember which one I slipped the roofies to...haha, like it would matter!!"

CAPTION:

"You're intoxicated by my very presence"

sorry double posted - pc going wonky

caption: GIRL IN BLACK: OMG! OMG! OMG! its rob pattinson maybe if i hold this cigarette right he'll look at me! ooooo noo i need my vibrating edward doll
GIRL IN BROWN: maybe if i hide my face he wont now that im not bella! and save me from james!
GIRL IN PURPLE: i saw him drop his room key maybe this is it! omg hes looking this way i should bend down and show my butt while picking up his room key!

CAPTION:

"You're intoxicated by my very presence"

Caption: Attack of the drunken spider monkeys!!

AS BELLA COMES AROUND THE CORNER SHE YELLS WHO ARE ALL YOU GIRLS AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY EDWARD. THE GIRL IN BLACK FALLS DOWN, THE GIRL WITH NO SHOES DROPS HER CARD AND GOES TO PICK IT UP, THE GIRL IN THE BROWN COAT JUST STARES AT BELLA AS EDWARD SMILES AT BELLA FOR COMING TO PROTECT HIM.

Caption: Attack of the drunken spider monkeys!

Caption: Rob: "I think I dropped a contact..."
Bewildered Girls: scramble...."I found it, No I found it...Umm what were we searching for again, hmm can i get a light." :D
Rob: Time to make a getaway...I dont even have contacts....mmmuuuaaaahhhh"

While your down there....

Rob: Let me spot you 20 spot and you guys can get off my lawn!!!
i mean my mom's gunna here any minute .. and if she sees you guys out here she's gunna take my guitar away for another week!
And I JUST GOT IT BACKK!

Robert Pattinson and the 3 drunk girls.

Caption: Oooops he did it again! Another marriage proposal gone wrong.

Can't win anyway, i'm from Ireland, but just for the laugh....

CAPTION: "Robert Pattinson's dazzling skills at work..."

Caption: Will you marry me?

CAPTION:

*Girls flock to Rob and swoon, where shortly after they fall to the floor drunk*

"Robert Pattinson...
Probably the best lager in the world."

Girls: OMG there's ROB!!!! (girls: scream, swoon and fall)
Rob: Blimey, everywhere I turn women are falling at my feet. Literally! I...what...oh... whoa...I....I don't know who to help first?!? Bloody hell, there goes another one.

CAPTION:
Girls: "Look, Rob! We can be clumsy just like Bella! Come save us!"
Rob: Blank stare. "I do NOT get paid enough to deal with this."

Caption: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...Or had a great fall...But definitely couldn't be put back together again.

Kristen shmishten

CAPTION: Gah! This is the third time this week! Why can't normal women be attracted to me?! Damn you Stephenie!

CAPTION: Rob: Hey! Aren't you some of those rabid fans from newmoonmovie.com? Girl#1: He doesn't sparkle! *falls on ground* Girl#2: We're protecting you from Paris Hilton! *searching in bushes for annoying heiresses* Girl#3: Yeah, we're fans of newmoonmovie.com, but I'm more of a Wolf girl. *looking for Wolf boys*

Caption:(girls) Hey you dont sparkle

Let's all pose our sexiest vampire positions. Be still or we'll bite!

Caption: Wow, they must be drunk, they arnt crawling all over me

Rob: I lost my lighter, can you help me?
Girls: We'll look for it! *begins scrambling to find lighter* Is it sparkly??
Rob: Hello, police? *begins sneaking away as fast as possible*

*Rob watching drunk girls* I wonder if I'll get hazard pay for this??

Caption: Where's Jasper when you need him?

CAPTION: "Which one of you birds flinched my wallet?"

(the girl bending down): DAMN IT.... how many times am i gonna drop this card...

(the picture comes into play): HEY ROB! can you hold me like this?


ROB LOOKS OVER AND SMIRKS WHILE THE OTHER GIRLS STARE AT THE GIRL BENDING DOWN.

an i'm not trying to be gross or sexaul...i'm making fun of when that girl in vancouver asked rob to hold her a certain way.

Caption : Awww come on.. i ain’t sparkling yet ,and you’ve already fallen for me. Too easy!

Quote from Twilight that should be the caption...
"Rob- Friend's don't let friend's drive drunk.
Girl- Drunk?
Rob-You're intoxicated by my very presence"

I'm getting very distracted, what the hell are you girls doing?

Opps. It's meant to be drugs, not drungs. My bad.

i cnt come up with a caption but everyone's is great theyre hilarious
=]

Great contest NewMoonMovie, very enjoyable :-)

CAPTION: "I bet Alice saw this coming"

CAPTION: Alice said I parked the Volvo around here somewhere....

caption: "Watch out girls, I told you it was going to STINK" , he is a man what do you expect. ; )

CAPTION: "I do dazzle them ALL"

caption: huh...this feels like deja vu to me...

CAPTION:

Newspaper headline: Mr. Pattinson once again manages to blow his fans away!

CAPTION: Rob: No, really, we're playing Hide-and-Go-Seek. Jake's hiding in that bush!
Girl#1 Can't decide between sparkly or furry! *falls on ground*
Girl#2 He's mine!!!!!!!!*tries to dive in bushes*
Girl#3 Hey, you look like that guy from Harry Potter! Wait, did someone say Jake? *turns to look in bushes*
Rob: *rolls his eyes* Great.... at least they're not throwing glitter at me.

CAPTION: Robert Pattinson's verision of an A.A. meeting

Caption: Rob: Taxi for pattinson!


(god that must be really enbarrasing for him he looks like he wants to run)

ring around the drunkies laugh and burf on rob,check him out once,twice,three times and wtf your drunk!lol

Where's Waldo?????

CAPTION:

All girls saying, "Too beautiful....Must resist the power."

Caption:
Girl in purple shirt: "Hey this looks like a Robert Pattinson trading card!! It's almost like actually seeing him!"
Girl in brown: "Hey I think I see one up in the dirt...hey you guy over there could you dig it out for me?
Robert Pattinson: "Uhh..I guess I could, don't you notice anything familiar about me though?"
Girl on the ground: "Ohh I know!!! You're that Tom Cruise guy. OMG!!! (faints)"
Robert Pattinson: "The power of alcohol, good thing I drink blood."

Yeah girls ... I can see your intoxicated by my presence

wow, the ugly butt face meets the three sluts, what a loser.

if you hate Rob, why the hell do you go on this site?

CAPTION:
Rob: Hey girls I just noticed we're in front of a motel.

CAPTION: One blind mice.. two blind mice... THREE BLIND MICE!

Girl in purple dances while Rob sings "I like big butts and I cannot lie."
Girl in bushes: Wheres Jacob Black? WHERE IS HE?!"
Girl in black dress: Sweetie, calm down, hes a fictional character. SAVE ME ROB!
Rob: How many times do I have to tell you, there isnt a van heading your way?! *rolls eyes*

Rob thinking: Maybe I should pick up chicks at the bar more often...

Rob: Hey, do any of you know where I parked my car?

Rob: Ok, maybe I should pick up chicks at the bar more often...

Ok ive tried to post my comment twice but its not letting me...wth?

It kind of looks like they were knocked to the ground.
CAPTION: " I told you to run. That Wolf Pack girl was vicious!"

Caption: Rob "Why does every girl lose it when they see me?"

Rob thinking: Maybe I should pick up chicks at the bar more often...

CAPTION "Now thats what i call a cheep night out, one dazzle from Rob and we are all drunk"

Caption:(Rob thinks with a somewhat sense of relief, then smiles a bit wickedly) "Well, at least they didn't scream at me. I think I prefer silently falling down in my presence."

Caption: "3 drunken Girls give Rob a wedgie then pass out in a bush"

CAPTION:
Rob: Ladies, I told you to wait til we get up to the room to start stripping!
My Twifans are gonna get jealous.

Caption: I wonder what they would do if I bit them...

A diversion! Now I can make my getaway!

Caption: In the jungle, the mighty jungle the girls hunt Rob tonight.

CAPTION: Got drunk off Pattinson!

Caption: "no time to be playing around girls, you know im paying you by the hour!"

Caption:

Even Rpattz friends are turning CRAZY while in the presence of his:
1.Gorgeous EVERYTHING
2. Smitten Smile
3. AWESOME personality
4. Cute back beanie
5. And AMAZINGLY FAINTING WORTHY HOTNESSSSSSS!!! :)

CAPTION:on e! news they said that 28,000 is wat ppl were paying for to get a kiss from rob.they also said thats wat HE should be payng THEM to get at girls.well judgng by the picture i think that he'll save bout that much money cause they're all over them.he just needs to pay for their numbers though.hahaha.

Pattison *ahem* charm causes yet more twihards to collapse. Perhaps now we know why he was cast - his *cough cough* dazzle

I'm not in the US so don't choose me - not that you would cause it's rubbish - but I just couldn't resist

elsewhere

Caption: "Ouch! What's wrong with you? Why did you just knock us over?"
"What!? I just looked at you!"
:D

Claudia, where did that lighter go?

Caption: Rob - "Does anyone have a lighter?"
-Girls falling all over themselves to be the one to give him a light.

wtf was actually going on?!?!?!

CAPTION: "So THAT'S what Americans do when they're drunk. Oh ya, I could totally get into that."

CAPTION:
Is that really Rob or are we just way too drunk?

Aww, I can't enter but I would like to thank all you ladies (and occasional men) for going on to this site! You're all absolutely brilliant and you always make my day! Thanks for being suck GREAT Twilight Saga and Rob fans! You are all my inspiration!
XOXO

Caption: "Oh, GOD! A strand of Robert's hair fell out! Where did it go? I MUST find it!"

CAPTION:
rob: Ok ladies all together now like we practiced POP, LOCK, N DROP IT!

caption: Robert: yes! who knew i could master vampire mind control to make crazy drunk fan girls to leave me alone!

Haha, I love reading these. They're really funny.

Caption: After earning 40,000 a piece for a single kiss, Robert Pattinson decided to drop out of acting and open his own Pimp House. He now makes 300,000 dollars a night selling his body. Many people saw this coming.

CAPTION:

Losing Your Shoes: $20
Losing Your Cigerattes: $5.75
Knowing Your Backside Is In A Photo Of Robert Pattinson: Priceless!

smoking and being drunk is not a good combo to find a mate ... lol ..
that black dress girl on the floor ... kinda disgust me ... *not to be rude or anything*

CAPTION:
girl bending over: hey i cant find my carmex. can i borrow ur shoes?
girl on floor: i like the floor better its cold. no way get ur own shoes
girl in brown jacket: what the hell is my ring doing in the bushes?? O i found ur shoes.
Rob: I got a car. I like ur jacket by the way

I think the Gnome stole the shoes!

Three things not to do in front a heartthrob like RP

Squat in the street.
Be the girl paying more attention to the squatter.
Thirdly sitting and saying ‘I fallen and can’t get up!’

LOL

These girls must be wasted! Besides the dropping things, tripping over your own feet, and falling on the ground, none of them seem to be paying attention to Rob

CAPTION: story of my life

CAPTION:

"......boy having 'vampiric super speed' would be really nice right about now......"

Caption: Wow ladies does it smell that bad??

PLEASE!
I WANT THE LINK TOO! HERE IS MY ADDRESS!!

rachaeldotcom@yahoo.com

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Rob: I hope that can continue after that saying that no one wants me lol .........
may say that good for my teeth

Caption: (Rob) Quick! I dropped my hair gel!

CAPTION:
after realizing that Robert is there
Blond girl: I am seeking my breathing that fell near here
Girl on the ground: I have to be seating to seek mine
Girl in brown jacket: where is Rob Patz?
Rob: futile girls, I'm going wash my hair

http://laineygossip.com/Robert_Pattinson_sold_o...

that news of robert and that blonde haired girl ...

CAPTION: Hmmmm me thinks the blonde one is first........

CAPTION: Hmmmmm, me thinks the blonde one is first.......

Caption:"Guys, uncoordination is reserved for Bella."

omg im soo jeaous of those girls!

CAPTION: (the one in purple) "Here Rob, this is my good side."

CAPTION: Girl picking up something: "Rob, OMFG, I think it is Kstews cell number!
Girl sitting down: Who's Kstew? Im wasted!
Girl in Brown Jacket: Shut up you idiot! I want him to go home with me! Your ruining it!
Rob. Wow, you have a big butt!

wow i love this site!

caption-
Rob- "Bitches, stop following me!!!"

Caption- Rob- "Bitches; stop following me!"

wow i'm new to this site, but its sooo cool i'm kinda obsessed with twilight lol

woah who is he with?? is this recent??

caption
rob: crap hear comes tayler. hay you, drunk ladies pick up your stuff and get over hear.

god some of these are brill well done everyone!

Caption: Rob: I wonder how far I get before they noticed I was gone?

CAPTION: Rob-Bloody Hell! All this for a damn smoke break! What the hell am I going to tell Kristen now!!

what hapens in vegas satys in vegas?

No girls, i dont care how much you fall to your knees and beg, im not going to end your life for you!

you can beg all you want im not gonna have sex with you!

And the next stop on the Twilight tour, Kristen Stewart's house. Ahh, Robert Pattinson, the heart throb rob, seems to be at it again. Now let me be the first to say, that Robert, here stops at this house 7 times a day, whenever possible to "check" on Kristen. As you can see, Robert has asked the ladies to do the Robert dance they made up in order to impress Kristen. And you can see that Rob seems to be making sure that Kristen sees them. They were paid a 3 second kiss *swoon*, well, i hope it works out Rob. Moving on....

CAPTIAN: Are any of you sober?

Is it midnight yet??? Im wondering who won....i'm obviously not in the US so i don't know what the time is over there, lol..... I think everyone did great!! Too bad not everyone can walk away with the prize, but i think the greatest prize of all is the strive and committment shown by YOU twi-fans to participate in this Caption contest. 646 comments....thats crazy!!

"ONE 4 ALL, AND ALL FOR ROB":)

CAPTION: "...And so the lion fell in love with the lamb........Yeah, it that affect on Kristen too!!!"

GOD they're not just rummors he really doesnt wash
No but he's still sexy *swoon!*

"girls honestly, im not trying to dazzle you, i jut cant help it!"

Caption: Girl's- Look Edward i can be a vampire too
Girl in the black dress-i have the speed... (trips)
Girl in the purple shirt-I can touch my toes (how does that have anything to do with vampires?)
Girl in brown jacket- I can be beautiful
Robert-umm thats okay girls all i want is that cigarette

CAPTION: Where is that taxie already??????

I told you guys I was Fast! What did you guys expect....It to be romatic?? Sorry ladies I don't work that way! Only with Bella! ha

CAPTION:

"Well, i bet that Paris didn't have this much trouble picking which girl to give the golden apple to!But since this is modern times i'll have to decide which lady deserves my cigarette lighter."

CAPTION:
ROB:THIS WAS FUNNY BUT I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW GIVE ME MY WALLET BACK
GIRLS: OK JUST DON'T FORGET ABOUT US

girl in brown:"take me here take me now"
girl in purple: "no!!! take me here take me now"
girl in black: "forget that!! take me here take me now"
Rob: Okay....NOT ahahah *run Rob run!*

CAPTION:

Well, i bet that Paris didn't have this much trouble figuring out which girl to give the golden apple to! But since this is modern times, and these girls obviously need it, i need to decide which girl deserves my cigarette lighter.

caption: look girls, none of you are bella so i really dont feel the need to save your drunken asses from hitting the ground!

CAPTION: Rob: *laughing* It's too easy to get drunk fans to do stupid things when I smile.

Rob: ummm Ladies? Help me find my contact lens!

Caption:
ROB: Hmm. Maybe there is something to the body odor rumors?

**not that I believe them but hey maybe the stench knocked them down hahaha* sorry I'll stop now lol

Caption:

"Well, i bet Paris didn't have this much trouble figuring out which girl to give the golden apple to! But this is modern times, i have to decide which girl deserves my cigarette lighter, and they obviously need it."

Can someone send me the Badass Edward link i really wanna read this! roxygal_1712@yahoo.com please please please send it!!!

Three girls, drunk on more than just the mere presence of Rob Patterson, stumbled, bumbled and made all out fools of themselves on Friday night. Looks like The "Sten" of RobSten might want to keep her Rob a little closer to home.

CAPTION:
Black haired girl: Oooo pretty.
Blonde haired girl: I know i just love ladybugs!!!
Rob: you two are high.
Brunette: I agree with rob. I think i'll just sit down now

CAPTION:
Rob's thoughts: I'll just go run away now with blondie's shoes. :)

This is what might happen if your drunk with Robert Pattinson!

lol funny

Caption:
*person who took the photo*
Kids, this is why crack is whack.

Caption: Rob says "It seems that I've lost my keys."

caption:
UHOH! Here come the paparazzi!!!!!

Caption: Just keep looking ladies...I'm telling you, Taylor Lautner IS hiding in those bushes...just keep looking while I make my escape.

Caption

"You're intoxicated by my very presence"

Caption:
Rob: I knew fans were insane but being as clumsy as her? That's just lame.

Since when did he work on the corner?

CAPTION: Primates make the best friends!

CAPTION: rob: not them again. just let me sneak away....
all girls: hes getting away!!! after him!!!

Caption: Robs checking out the "Smokin" hot chicks.

Caption - Since when did he work on the corner? And we thought it was the economy we lost our money to.

Still interested to know what the REAL story behind this pic is - but love all the captions!

caption:
rob (thinking): God!!! Its hard enough saving Bella all the time! But three of them at once!!! Its nearly in possible!!!

Keep looking ... I know I dropped that damn silver bullet somewhere!

CAPTION: I GOT IT!

CAPTION:
Drunk Fan Girl: Is that Robert Pattinson over there?
Robert: *looks* Yeah actually, I think so! Why don't you go over to him before he leaves? *runs away*

Girl bending over: Rob, help..i lost my own personal brand of heroin ((smokes!!))
Rob:No
Girl: why?
Rob: Because, what if im not the hero...what if im the bad guy?
Girl: your not, i see what your trying to put off, and its just a mask...
Rob: oh really...*pushes over girl in black*
Girl in black: hey!?!
Other girl: *thinks* just walk away and maybe he wont kill me...

OH Crap it all!!! it didn't leave my caption and i lost it!!!!!!!!!!!!1 urrrgh!!!!!! well im gonna give it another shot

Caption:

GIRL IN BLACK *good thing we came up with this plan to meet Rob* oh ouch it hurts... my ankle.... my ankle... that's what i get for wearing these shoes
ROB *walking by* Are you alright?
GIRL IN BLACK No i hurt my ankle.. *pouts*
ROB LET ME LOOK AT IT
GIRL IN PURPLE Ahaha I got it... I got his room key
GIRL IN BROWN She told us to stay in the bushes
ROB who told you
GIRL IN BLACK *Jumps up* no one told them anything... Now look @ my freaking ankle!!! *i wonder if he'll take me to his hotel to get medical help*
GIRL IN PURPLE *he could look at my butt, i mean i HAVE had it up there longer than needed for a reason*
GIRL IN BROWN * How bad is it when you've known to drunks so long that you can read their minds 'look at my butt' 'take me to his hotel for medical help' ha... quick look away... they are way to drunk*
ROB * looks away... God! if they want to meet me they don't need to go to... hello look at that jacket... it's mighty... wow... look at who is IN that jacket...what was i thinking...* Ummm.. Uhh... Errr.. well it... i must be going... can i have that room key?
GIRL IN PURPLE & IN BLACK Only if Im coming with you!!! ...... Hey *start fighting over rob...
ROB *picks up room key* that's ok ladies... but If you * looks at girl in jacket* want to come with me.?.?.?
BROWN JACKET GIRL: Yes Yes Yes!!!!!


sorry taht took so long... =p

captions aside, i wanna know who the hell these girls really are and why they are being so friendly with our rob LOL

CAPTION: "WHATS THAT OVER THERE!!" Robert Pattison throws a pack of cigarettes into a trio of crazed female friends to make a run for it!

Everything was going just fine until the fans caught Rob's scent and were dazzled...

CAPTION: drop it like its hot!

CAPTION: "I'd tap that"

Caption:
Rob:If you were smart enough, you would stay away from me.

*girl in brown jacket walks away*

*other two are left*

blonde girl: OMC! it's Rob's room key!!! OMCOMC!! Thank God i took off my shoes so that i could run! HAHA i beat ya to it huns!

girl # 2: NO! i wanted to sneak into his room. omc, how could you do this to me. (begins to cry)

girl # 3: Fine, whatevs. Rob spit in the dirt, i wonder how much that would sell on ebay

rob: bloody hell, my room key! er, can i have it back?

caption:

narator-
"About three things we are absolutely positive...
Wait does anyone know what IS going??
Ohh right just another day in the life of a dazzling beautiful Cullen."

Girl on floor: I've been dazzled and I cant get up.
Girl squatting: HE SPIT OUT HIS GUM !! GET IT!!! DO U KNOW HOW MUCH WE CAN GET FOR THAT ON EBAY?
Girl Turned away: YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY BLOWING IT!
Rob: Help? Emmett? Jasper? Beam me up Scottie?

Caption: "falling down, with bootie all around!"

caption: SO THIS IS THE EFFECT THAT BRAD PITT AND GEORGE CLONNEY GET

prior to this very sad looking photo being taken, Rob was actually running away from these girls chasing him. all it took was some mass confusion when he yelled "look, there's a monkey in the bush" concentration on the matter at hand, the hot actor, was lost after this...drunks still looking for monkey/Rob getting a kick out of the whole thing.

Caption: Rob- Jackpot!